“Why? Because we managed to piss off and hurt everybody we love?”
I grimace. “I didn’t even ask—how is Jason taking it?”
“Considering the fact that he and Patrick already went and got married, pretty well.”
My jaw drops to the floorboard. “When did that fucking happen?”
“About a month ago,” he says, laughing at my expression.
“Yeah. Y’all owe us a major party.”
“I think we can arrange that,” he says, his smile dimming. “Hey, Nacho? Do you think Ant will ever forgive us?”
I take a moment to organize my answer. “I don’t think it’s about forgiveness. It’s not that it just sorta hurt his feelings. Speaking for myself, it made me doubt my place in your life. I don’t know if y’all understand that y’all are his world.”
“Shit,” Justin whispers softly.
“He shared a little bit of what he went through, and the way he talks about Charlie walking into that hotel room and pulling him out of there? Ant worships him. The way you taught him all about fencing? He worships you too. He spent a lot of years feeling like a throwaway and has been working really hard to rebuild himself brick by brick. And I swear I’m not trying to make you feel bad, but this? He said it made him feel disposable all over again.”
“Double shit.” Justin leans forward, putting his head in his hands.
“Look, I think what he needs right now more than anything is reassurance. But…” I stop, thinking over what I’m about to say next. “I know this probably sounds stupid coming from me, but Ant needs to be in therapy. I think he’s got so much anger that he doesn’t know what to do with it, and sometimes it turns back inward on himself. Like, he’s hurt, but at least a part of him thinks y’all didn’t include him because something’s wrong with him.”
Justin shakes his head. “I hear you. I hear you. Me and Charlie are gonna make this right for him. I also think we’re going to have to push the issue on the therapy. He deserves support for all the shit that must be in his head.”
“And,” I say, tapping my thigh, “if you’re going to go to the Goodnights’ every Sunday without including him, call it something other than a family dinner. Or stop talking about it.”
Justin’s eyes go lunar as his jaw goes slack. “Fuckinghell. I didn’t even think about that.”
“I know. Nobody’s excluding anyone on purpose, and not everyone can be invited to everything, but he brought it up.”
I decide not to let him know how it makes me feel, but he’s a pretty smart guy.
“I do that to you too, don’t I?”
I scratch my neck and admit, “Sorta.”
Gesturing between us, he says, “I promise it’s an oversight and not anything else. I’m going to bring this up to Trip, and the first thing he’s going to do is call and apologize. He’s been so busy, we’ve been so busy…it’s not purposeful. I fucking promise it’s not.”
“Iknow. But itisnice to hear.”
We pull into the ranch, and he gets out, coming around to my side. Opening the door, he pulls me into a hug. “I’m genuinely, genuinely sorry.”
“No more apologies,” I say, patting his back. “It’s just…if you’re gonna be bringing in delicate people, you have to be aware of the things that can set them off.”
He kisses the side of my head, cracking us up before he hugs me again. “Thank you for saying something.”
“Anytime, brother.”
I wave as he makes his way into his house, then head back to my trailer, grateful I listened to Bram’s advice…er, order. Orderly advice, maybe?
After parking and making my way inside the trailer, I pull out my phone, letting myself in while texting him one-handed while I shuffle out of my jeans.
Me:I talked to Justin today. He did feel bad, and he apologized.
Dr. Barlowe:Excellent. I’m glad to hear it. I mentioned something to Charlie as well.
Dr. Barlowe:He hadn’t considered that Erik would say something to Ant.
