“Yeah. I think so.”
“You know, I don't think I ever asked you this. What are you going to school for? Out in California?”
I notice that Carter tends to say California like it leaves a bad taste in his mouth. Wonder what the state ever did to him.
“I don't know. I’ve declared for a general business degree and paid for the first semester on that track, but once I get there and see some of the classes, I can switch if I need to.”
“Pretty expensive proposition if you don't know what you're going after.”
I nod. “It is. Especially since I’m paying out-of-state tuition, at least for the first year. It’s why I’m starting at the community college. My credits will transfer wherever I end up though, so I’ve got a couple of years to figure it out.”
“Mm, smart,” he says, caressing my ribs. “And what if you figure out that you like something outside of the degree? What if you want something that's outside of college?”
“I dunno. I just want a good job, and you need college for that. I don't want to have to make the same sacrifices my dad made.”
“Like what?”
“He does all right now, but for twenty years, he worked in the coal mine. He eventually got out and got an associate’s degree at the local business college. Still works for the mine, but spent the last twenty years as an office manager.”
“It’s good that he made the switch.”
I release his nipple and lay my head on his chest. “Yeah, but he's always winded and gets these weird pains every now and again. He says it's all from his time underground. Twenty years later, and it’s still hurting him. I spent a year working in that mine to save for college, and I’m never gonna do it again.”
Chapter8
Carter
Ihold Knox tight, deeply understanding the need to be free of that kind of situation and desperately wanting that for him, even though I've only known him for a week. But I know that freedom for him will probably feel like a kick in the nuts for me.
Even so, I want him to be happy.
“I can't blame you for that,” I say, running my fingernails down his ribs. He shivers, then resumes sucking on the one nipple while absentmindedly rolling the other between his thumb and forefinger. My nipples are a little bigger than his, and I get that he’s fascinated. I really do.
I especially love it when he adds a little scrape of his teeth.
It’d be so easy to just rip down his pants, flip him, and push inside. Play his body like a fiddle.
Focus, Carter.
There was a question…oh, right. I palm the back of his head, and he stops his sucking to gaze up at me. He’s still worrying my other nipple with his fingers, but at least I can fucking concentrate right now.
“You gave yourself two whole months to get from West Virginia to California when anyone knows you don’t need more than a week. Why would you do that?”
He shrugs and gives my nipple a kitten-like lick, trying to act like the answer doesn’t matter. Which means it matters a lot. I raise my brow, and he grumbles to himself before answering. “I don’t know. It’s just…I had this really loud voice that kept insisting that Igo west.Explore past my little bubble in West Virginia.”
I feel like there’s more to the story than that, but I’ll let him tell me when—if—he’s ever comfortable enough.
I hum, loving the tickling sensation of his fingertips. “Maybe you’re meant to explore more than the country. Maybe you’re also meant to explore the things that would really make you happy. Hell, maybe there's already something out there that you'd be good at and would enjoy.”
He sits up, shoulders stiff. “I know people don't think I’m college material, but I'm smart. I learn things. Hell, I just learned how to put a quarter panel on a truck all by myself today.”
God, I’m distracted and fucking this up.
I kiss his cheek, and he tries to pull away from me, but I just hold on tighter, making sure that I’ve got his eyes on mine. “Whoever told you that you wouldn’t succeed in college is a fucking idiot. Anybody who has known you for more than thirty seconds knows you're smart. Anyone who knows you more than a minute knows you would tear up a college class.”
His hurt expression is killing me, and I’m kicking my own ass for not going the nipples-and-butt-sex route.
Cupping his sweet face in both hands, I continue, “Nobody, and especially nobody in this apartment, thinks you can't do it. All I'm saying is there's a big wide world out there, and a lot of things to do, and a lot of ways to make money. So if you're going into college with no real idea of what you want, maybe it's okay to look around in a few places. That's all I'm saying. Promise.”
