And thank God for whoever invented Accutane.
She holds out her hand, and I show off my black-sparkle manicure. I can’t afford to get my nails done or my hair dyed professionally, but I watched a few YouTube videos and figured it out.
I set the table for us and help her get everything plated. I say grace, and my mom kisses her cross. We dig in, and I appreciate the hell out of her cooking. Deputy Mitchell calls a couple of hours later to let Mom know the house is clear and he’ll have patrols on standby in case my dad gets any bad ideas.
Something tells me Deputy Mitchell made sure my father got the message to leave my family alone.
“I know you enjoy living here with your uncle, but you are always welcome to come over whenever you want.” She hugs me tight. “I know we have to rebuild, but I want you to feel comfortable.”
“I’ll come by,” I say, squeezing her. “But I never blamed you because he controlled you. That you got help means the world to me.”
We hold each other for a little longer before I say goodnight to my younger brother and sister. Richard and I walk them to my mother’s car and wave as they leave. By the time I’ve showered, de-gothed, and put on my sleep clothes—an oldGarfieldT-shirt andNightmare Before Christmaspajama bottoms—she’s texted to say they got home and everything, save for her favorite coffee mug, is still intact.
Honestly, with the various ways this day could’ve gone, I’ll take it.
I walk into the living room to show Richard the text, and he grabs two bottles of beer out of the refrigerator, passing one to me. We plop down on the couch and clink. I take a swig, then another, letting it settle me down.
Richard lifts his chin in my direction. “What’s going on?”
“Uh…you were just here for everything.”
“Yes, but my brother’s been an asshole his entire life. Today was a long time coming, and I don’t think you’re exactly sad about it.”
I shake my head. “No, I’m not.”
“Then why are your shoulders sad?”
I look at my shoulders and straighten them. “I don’t know what you mean.”
He raises his brows, waiting.
I was never very close to my uncle before, but when I needed a place to go, he didn’t hesitate to open his house to me, even directly after his divorce. We’ve gotten to know each other better over these last several months, so it doesn’t surprise me that he can read me like a book.
I let out a breath, suddenly nervous.
“It doesn’t matter how hard I try. I can’t focus at school. I’m not interested in the subjects. I don’t want a business degree, and I only barely passed two classes this semester.”
He takes a swig of beer and then runs the bottle through his palms as he looks thoughtful.
“Have you been able to talk to any of your teachers, see if they can help you do something to raise your grades?”
My chest rises and falls with the weight of the world.
“I talked to my English Lit teacher today, and she said that maybe college isn’t for me.”
My uncle draws his chin back. “Are they allowed to say that to you?”
I lift my depressed shoulders and let them drop. “I don’t know if it’s allowed, but I think it’s what I needed to hear.”
“But you’re a smart kid.”
“She said the same. She also said that if my dreams require a degree, she’ll be there to help me turn it around. But since college is so dang expensive, and I’m so fucking unhappy, maybe I should look at other alternatives.”
I drain the beer, completely unconvinced that I’m smart enough to figure out what I want to do when I grow up.
“Do you have any ideas for other things you might want to try?”
I’m scared to own up to it, but the beer helps. “I have no clue.”
