He nods, rubbing the back of his head.
“Do you want to walk back with me?”
“Um, I’ll let you have your brother and sister time together. But maybe if you can let her know I'm here?”
His eyes are sad and sincere, his distress visible in the nervous way he bites his lip. Poor guy is amess.
“Of course.”
Destry’s doctor opens the door, and I follow him down the hallway, throwing a wave at Ellis over my shoulder.
“How is she doing today, Doc?”
The tightening of his jaw tells me everything I need to know. “So, really not a good day.”
“They don't all have to be good days, Colt. Don't take this as backsliding or anything like that. This is hard work.”
I nod, and we walk into her room together. “Hey, D. How’re you doing?”
She looks a little pale and skinny, not at all what I was hoping for. “I hate it here,” she responds, tossing a pillow on the bed.
“Is there something wrong with the facility?” I ask, wondering if I need to look at another place.
She rolls her eyes like I couldn’t possibly understand. “I hate it heremeans I hate this fucking life.”
I look over at her doctor, at a loss for words. Destry sees my expression and mumbles an apology, then comes up to me for a hug. I wrap my arms around her, delicate with her frail body.
Burying her head in my chest, she mumbles, “Sorry, I wish I had a better answer right now. But you've just done so much for me, and your friend, Luke, paying for my rehab? I feel like I'm wasting his money. I just don’t want to be here right now.”
“Shh. None of that, D. You’re like a sister to him. Hell, I tried to argue with him, and he wouldn’t hear of it. You already know this is just a bad spot. I’ve seen you on the other side of much worse, and you do love life. You do enjoy things. It's just hard to regulate when things aren't great.”
The wetness from her tears soaks through my T-shirt.
“Catch me up, D. What's not great right now?”
She lets out a dry laugh, pulling back to wipe her eyes as she shakes her head. “Ellis—Wick’s brother? I don't know if you know that we were dating.”
“I didn’t,” I say, not letting her know just yet that Ellis is in the waiting room. “I thought that was going well. Like, with counseling and everything.”
“It was. We’ve been thinking about moving in together. We had a session on Friday, and he admitted he was afraid that if I started to struggle again, he’d struggle too. And he’s so afraid of relapsing because heroin can be dangerous.”
“How did him saying that make you feel?” her doctor asks, a patient look on his face.
She lays her head on my shoulder so she can look at him. “It hurt my feelings.”
“Have you told him that?”
“No. He tried to come by yesterday, and I told him to fuck off and stay the fuck out of my life.”
I rub her arm. “Did you really mean that, D?”
Her expression breaks, and she sobs. “No. I miss him so fucking much. But I couldn't stand it if he was judging me.”
I pull her back into a hug, wincing at the thinness of her bones. “Well, the guy I just passed in the waiting room looked worried, not judgmental. And I think only someone who truly loves you would be honest about the things that scare them.”
“He's here?”
I nod. “Want me to get him?”
