The weird thing about having someone say they love you—and then show you unreservedly that they do—is that it makes you want to up your game. At least that’s what I’m experiencing. That man literally does not give one shit about my scars. Or the fact that sex requires a cock cage.
The only thing he cares about is my level of pain and mobility. And that was another revelation. I’d been thinking in terms of being a burden to him. That he would have to sacrifice so much, sexually and physically. But the biggest detriment to him is my pain. It hurts him when I’m in pain. And he would want me to get this surgery to address my pain and mobility, not because he was owed something as a boyfriend.
I still can’t get over the fact that he thought I’d lost my dick but loved me regardless. Seriously,what the hell am I afraid of at this point?
Thus fortified, I pick up my phone and call Anders.
“DB? Wasn’t sure I’d hear from you. Based on my brother’s brief, far-too-short-on-details texts, I thought you two would be locked away in a room, deflowering each other for the foreseeable future. I have a Central Market delivery with juice and candy bars on its way to your condo to make sure y’all don’t drop from exhaustion or dehydration.”
I’d spent a lot of time denying my feelings for Odd in order to avoid, among other more terrifying things, exactly this kind of conversation. Chuckling to myself, I realize that it’s not so bad to have his brother’s blessing. It actually feelsgood. And the fact that Anders, who is more intimately acquainted with my issues than I’ll ever be comfortable with, likes us together, confirms Jake’s words. Real love, it seems, doesn’t require perfection.
There goes that feeling of lightness in my chest again.
“Too bad he just took off for Houston.”
“Oh, right. Duty calls. What can I do you for then?”
I clear my throat and get straight to the point. “I want the surgery.”
The line goes silent, but I can damn near hear his broad grin.Fucker.
“That’s great news, DB. You’re still good with being black-bagged on the way in?”
I think of Odd’s face, flush with desire and full of love for me, and the decision is easy. “I can handle that. Talk to me again about recovery time.”
“If everything goes right, by the time you wake up from surgery, you’ll be able to walk. You’ll feel like you’ve been hit by a freight train, but you’ll be mobile.”
“Jesus, that soon?”
“Definitely. We’ll use a version of the serum with higher potency. Your knee will be achy, so you’ll have a few not-fun days of doing PT and re-balancing yourself, but those are recovery gold. Additionally, all of the movement with the skin will help maintain its elasticity. Within two days, it’ll fully blend with your existing skin. Within two weeks, you’ll be cleared for all activities.”
Jesus Christ that’s fast.
“Okay, let’s book it…under one condition.”
“Name it.”
“I’m not telling your brother. At least not until after the surgery is successful.”
There’s a pregnant silence on the line, followed by Anders’ voice, softer than I’ve ever heard it. “Why would you do that? Don’t you want him there with you?”
“I just…I need to do this by myself. He’s so willing to…”
“I know.”
“And I just want to be…”
“I know.” He hums to himself on the line like he’s thinking through something. That’s almost never a good thing. “Gimme a sec. I’m going to put you on hold.”
“Okay—”
The line cuts out before I can even complete the sentence. I wait, checking the phone to make sure we haven’t been disconnected. By the time he returns, I’ve started pacing my condo.
“Okay, I’m back. Question. You sure you don’t want to tell my brother?”
“Positive.”
“Okay then. I just talked to Dr. Tamashiro, and if you’re up for it, we can get this done tomorrow while he’s in Houston.”
