I found a date for early Sunday evening so I wouldn’t have to think about DeShaun spending time with our friends, and I already wish I’d canceled. Standing in front of me is a person who’s the opposite of DeShaun Blaylock in every way I could possibly make happen. Despite Anders insisting that I download Grindr, I also downloaded a couple of hetero apps. Haisley is an adorable, tiny woman with delicate features, red hair, freckles, and pretty brown eyes. Her smile is broad and genuine, and there’s a brightness about her that anyone would be attracted to.
I feel exactly zero sparks with her and spend the next hour mirroring all of her facial expressions so I don’t have to come up with any of my own. I’m beginning to think that a hookup would’ve been the lesser of two evils. It certainly would’ve taken less time.
Worse, she seems happy to be on the date with me, like she’s actually enjoying herself, and I feel like a shithead. I mean, we’re obviously not in some long-term relationship, nor have I lied to her, but I feel dirty and dishonest all the same.
When she excuses herself to the bathroom, I breathe a sigh of relief and let my shoulders drop from my ears. Pulling out my phone, there are a few notifications from Anders.
Anders:So how’s the hot date going?
Anders:Did you get her naked yet?
Anders:Who do you think wears the strap? I’ve got five bucks on Park.
I roll my eyes and wish I could thunk my brother on his forehead.
Odd:I blame you for this horribly awkward evening.
Anders:How am I to blame? I told you to download Grindr. You’d already be getting your dick sucked by now.
Odd:I’m going to end the date when she gets back from the bathroom.
Anders:This is where your haircut and my love life are biting you in the ass. If you still had long hair, and I wasn’t in love, I would totally slip right in and take one for the team.
Omar:There is no more of this taking one for the team. Why are you texting your brother while he’s on a date?
Anders:Why are you texting me? I’m sitting right next to you. And I’m texting my brother because I wanted to make sure he hasn’t bailed.
Omar:He’s about to bail on her right now.
Omar:Where are you going?
Anders:BRB
Omar:That brother of yours
Odd:You picked him. No takebacks.
Omar:I’d never give your brother back.
I consider the puke-face emoji, but I leave it alone because I am the more mature Bash twin.
I sit around for several more minutes and wonder if I’m such a terrible date that she abandoned me in the middle of the meal. That might be a new low.
My text notification goes off and I pick it up, assuming it’s more of my brother giving me a hard time. I smile when I see my favorite pizza chef come up on the screen instead.
Evie:Where are you and Anders? Why have you abandoned me to the fancy people?
Odd:Anders and Omar had an appointment to look at a larger condo in the building.
Evie:Okay, but why aren’t you here to support my brother?
I don’t want to lie to Evie, but I hate re-opening this wound that I’ve been desperately trying to paper over.
Evie:Does this have something to do with DB? Because he looks heckin’ miserable.
He does?I try not to feel any hope about that.
Evie:Seriously, what is the deal with you two? Stop fudging around and get it together, people.
