“No, I’m offering you information to break down the meaning for yourselves,” I say, a combination of amused and annoyed. “Do you want to talk with my guy or not?”
“Sure, can’t hurt.”
I click over and bring up Ronan on the call. We’ve disguised his voice, but it makes me nervous to have him talk to someone with Greg’s reach. Still, Ronan is ready for this, so I make their introductions and then let him take over the conversation.
As expected, he’s kind and direct, and Greg seems genuinely impressed and appreciative of the info share. He blessedly asks few follow-up questions, and Ronan handles the questions he does have with ease and confidence.
Still, I barely pay attention, distracted by the pain in my knee, the swirl of guilt I can’t escape, the creeping hypervigilance that hangs around for days after a nightmare, and the memory of Odd’s cologne as I kissed a path up his neck.
12
Odd
Half the team took off today and is spending the entire weekend in Dallas. They’re going to the Aquarium tomorrow, and on Sunday they’re attending Jake’s opening at one of the hip, new galleries in the Design District. It’s exactly the kind of thing I’d enjoy, but I’ve decided to avoid DeShaun at all costs, so I stay in Austin.
The day after DeShaun called me, I went to lunch with Anders and cried on his shoulder about the whole thing. It turns out that he, Omar, and Parker also need to stay in town for one reason or another and are planning on hanging out at Parker’s place, so he invited me to join them.
It’s Friday night, and I’m sitting on her couch, wishing I’d stayed home instead of getting sloshed on whiskey. Even though I’m a miserable son of a bitch, I have to admit that Parker’s new condo is gorgeous and soher. The lighting in here is wonderful and plays off of the comfy light furniture, the white-and-pearl gray walls, and the gorgeous wide-plank wood floors. Her style is a fun mix of spare-but-bright paintings, shelves dotted with pots of climbing orchids, and perfectly aligned…everything. Park and Omar have become nearly as close as Park and Rafi, and it’s fun to see how she’s influenced him to come out of his shell. Especially when he zings my brother.
I think I’m doing a good job of keeping up appearances until my brother goes and opens his big, goddamn mouth.
“You’re so morose, bro. Is this shit with DB still getting you down?”
The conversation stops around us, and I can feel everyone’s eyes on me. I take a big gulp of whiskey from my fancy cut-glass tumbler. “Would you shut the fuck up, Anders? We’re having a good time here.”
“No,” Parker says, pushing her way into our argument. Gesturing to herself, Omar, and Anders, she continues, “We’rehaving a good time.You’resitting there like a piece of moldy bread, skipping Jake’s gallery opening to avoid DB.”
I glare at Anders, who’s doing his shrug-grimace thing. Omar shakes his head.Sorry,he mouths.
Parker tracks the silent conversations and her eye roll is as epic as her style. “Don’t blame your brother for this. Weallknow about you and DB’s unrequited love. Especially after you went and got a breakup cut,” she says, gesturing her gin-and-basil cocktail at my short hair.
“It can’t be a breakup cut. We were never together.”
“And why is that?”
I shake my head. Talking about it won’t fix anything. “Look, I just want to sit here and be quiet in the corner.”
She snorts and her pursed lip game is on point. “When has sitting quietly in the corner worked with me in the history of ever?”
Omar grimaces, supplying the answer. “Never. It never works with her. Might as well answer her question.”
I scorch my brother with another look, but his shrug seems unconcerned. Fine. I bring my attention back to Parker. “You wanna know why DeShaun and I aren’t together?”
She nods, biting her lip as she looks over at Anders.
“Because he thinks I would have to sacrifice too much to be with him.”
She pulls her chin back, looking doubtful. “You can’t know that for sure.”
“Oh, yes, I can. He told me. He got high on pain killers, called me, and told me himself.”
“And did he say why?”
“He thinks I’m going to start resenting him and leave him and break his heart, or whatever.”
Or whatever, she mouths to Omar and Anders. “What do you think about the fact that he’s trying to spare you and himself heartache?”
“I think he’s an idiot, who doesn’t understand how love works.”
