I make him stop and give me the details of all the medication he’s got on board, then Google it while I keep him talking. He should be fine, but I’m gonna keep him on the phone for a little while longer.
He snorts to himself.
“What’s funny, DeShaun?”
“Huh?”
“You’re laughing, D. Do you know that you called me with FaceTime?”
“Shit, did I?” he asks, fumbling the phone. There’s a loud thump and then fingers scrambling across the case. “Sorry, dropped you. Let me try somethin’.”
There’s a bit more fumbling before a lamp flips on somewhere off to the side. The light illuminates him in partial shadow. He’s sitting against his headboard, slow-blinking into the camera. “Hey, I can’t see you.”
I turn on my bedside lamp.
“Wow, you’re pretty,” he says with a lazy smile.
“So are you.”
He looks down, letting his shoulders drop. “Don’t say that.”
“Why not?” I scratch my chest, right over my heart, wondering if there’s anything that’ll get rid of this ache.
“You’re on Grindr.”
“I don’t want to be. One word from you and—”
“Don’t tempt me. I want to beat the shit out of anyone who even thinks to look at you like that.”
“Then why—” I start to ask, but he cuts me off again.
“Oh. Can’t believe I just said that. These pills are no joke, you know?” He hates taking pain meds, so this bemused discovery would be kind of adorable if he wasn’t taking my heart on a ride with him.
“DeShaun—”
“You know, I just realized that you could ask me anything right now, and I would totally give you the answer.”
I go still, afraid of what might come out of my mouth.
“Go ahead, Odd. Ask me.”
“So if I asked you why you don’t love me, you would tell me?”
He snorts again. “I can’t answer that question.”
“So I actually can’t ask you anything,” I point out, disappointed, and tired of not knowing why he pushes me away.
“Pshh,” he says as the phone topples over, facedown. “I can’t answer why I don’t love you because I do love you, stupid.”
He pulls the phone back up and gives me a big, wide yawn.
“How long have you loved me?” I ask, heart racing as my stomach bottoms out.
“I don’t know. How long have we known each other? Take that amount of time, subtract about thirty seconds, and there you go.” There’s more bobbling, but he gets back on pretty quickly. “Sorry, dropped you again.”
“But you were my boss and couldn’t pursue me.”
“Yes. That is true. At first. Now, I don’t give a shit about being your boss.”
