I let out a breath, feeling weirdly unburdened. The fact that he noticed makes it feel somehow more valid. “I wish I didn’t have that fucking nickname in my head so much. He says that calling me Chunk is what got me to work hard enough to get into the Marine Corps. What’s sad is that he’s right. I just wanted my dad to love me. Then I got back from basic, and he saw what I looked like, what the Corps made me into, and then…”
“He miraculously found something to demean about that too. Right?”
“Yep. And now, when I’m pushing through the second hour of my daily work out, when I’m watching other people eat carbs like it’s no big deal…I can’t tell if my motivation is in the right place, y’know?”
Running his hands through the fur on my chest, he responds. “Yeah, like, are you doing this for your health? Or so that your dad doesn’t have the physical proof that you actuallyarea major disappointment?”
I roll my eyes, appreciating sarcasm that for once isn’t at my expense. “Exactly.”
We sit in silence for a bit, then Ro kisses me and looks straight into my eyes. “For what it’s worth, if maintaining this look, this level of bulk, with the super-intense workout schedule and the super-specific dietary restrictions makes you happy, great. I’ll support you. But if not, if it takes more than it gives, then you get to reconsider. Making an adjustment to match your happiness won’t make your father right, however you look. And it sure as hell won’t change how I feel about you.”
If it takes more than it gives.
You get to reconsider.
I blink, realizing I never factored in my own happiness. I feel a little nauseated, like everything just shifted all at once. “I…I don’t know.”
He kisses me again, even gentler this time. “That’s okay. There are no wrong answers here. I love you and accept you exactly as you are.” He holds up his hand. “Fuck that. I don’t justacceptyou. I think you’re amazing, and I’m so proud of you.”
That’s twice he’s said he’s proud of me, and I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear it until just this moment. I don’t have any words, only cleansing tears and a heart that’s been cracked wide open.
15
Ronan
Thane’s quiet tears rip my heart in two. It shouldn’t be so extraordinary to be loved, accepted, and supported by one’s family. It’s only just now I finally understand that Thane’s lived without these essentials his whole life.
After a day like today, there’s no way I’m ever going to let him feel unloved again.
Cupping his jaw with my hands, I pull him in for a soft kiss. “Don’t you dare take a thing he says to heart ever again. You are so many wonderful things.”
“I have finally, finally started to accept that. It’s easier with you in my life.”
I hug him tightly, hoping to infuse him with as much love as I can. “No wonder you were terrified when I fell in love with you.”
“You don’t know the half of it.” He chuckles, kissing the top of my head. “Back when we were sleeping together, I had to keep telling myself all of the ways in which it was impossible for you to love me. You were too refined, I was an ogre, you deserved better than me.”
I grunt in protest, rubbing my arms against the chill in the air. “Not true.”
He laces his hands behind his head and leans back, the arch of his brow decidedly mischievous. “Thankfully, you’ve since called me your Giant Wall of Cock and Muscle, which is good because I kind of need to fuck you again.”
He grins as though he didn’t just say something evil and reaches into the weather-safe side table, producing a remote control. Looking intently into my eyes, he presses the button and shades drop from the roofline. They still let in quite a bit of light, but I suspect you can’t see in once they’re down.
He hits the remote control again and starts the firepit.
I turn, watching the flames spark and leap. “Fancy.”
“Nothing but the best for you, baby,” he says, tugging on the hem of my shirt.
Smiling, I ease back to stand between his knees. I slowly unbutton my shirt, letting it slide off my shoulders as I enjoy the heat of the fire. He leans forward and unfastens my jeans, pushing them to the ground along with my boxers. I shuffle out of my shoes and step out of the pool of clothing, completely naked.
I help him to slip off his shirt and he pushes down his jeans, stepping out of them. Straddling him again, I revel in the sliding warmth of our skin as our half-hard dicks nestle together. Leaning into each other for a soft kiss, we linger in that sweet space. I put light kisses on his nose, cheekbones, eyelashes, and Adam’s apple before I return to his lips, gently exploring his mouth.
His hands map every square centimeter of my back, dipping down to grip my ass before running over the smooth, warm skin. We harden against each other but are in no rush.
“We don’t have to do anything more than this right now,” he says, delicately swirling a finger over my abused hole.
I whine and push against his finger, then wince. “That’s probably for the best. I might need a little more recovery time from the pounding you gave me this weekend.”
