His eyes go wide. “Iknewit!”
“You knew what? That I don’t eat sugary snacks?”
I don’t know why I’m allowing myself to play with him like this. I blame my empty stomach and exhaustion.
“That’snotwhat you said. You said that you don’t have anything to do withbeavers. And don’t say anything about your English. You use American idiomsall the time. You know what it means.”
I chew on my lip, willing my exterior not to crack. Of course I know what the fuck it means, it’s why I said it.
“I’ve admitted to nothing, save for a preference for a snack that doesn’t rot out my teeth and shorten my life by about ten years. I’ll never put one of those beaver things in my mouth.Ever.”
His lips thin and he squints at me. “You know, it’s that attitude that’ll shorten your life by ten years. Look at me and Odd. Does it look like we’re clueless about a healthy diet?”
One look at his body and you know for a fact that man has more than a passing acquaintance with kale and workouts.
“No?”
“And you notice that because…”
I shrug, bored, not giving him an inch.
He lets out a frustrated huff, and I am this close to smiling in triumph.
“Because you don’t have anything to do withbeavers.”
I shake my head, feigning confusion. “I noticed it because I have eyes, you ass. What’s your point?”
“Why am I the ass? You’re the one who started with all the beaver innuendo,mister.”
My lip twitches, but I manage to hold back the smile.
He grunts, then continues. “My point is, if all I ate was broccoli and chicken all day long, I’d be hating life.”
I roll my eyes. “That’s why you have cheat days.”
He makes a sour lemon face. “Nah, fuck a cheat day. Me and Odd, we just try for balance. We’re also more than a little lucky in the genetics department.”
I’ll say.
“Besides,” he says, shaking the bag of Beaver Nuggets in my direction, “everyone knows when you eat on the road, you’re meant to walk through a convenience store like a child let loose with a hundred bucks and no sense of self-preservation.”
“I did not know that. I have never heard of such a thing.”
He puts his arm around my shoulders. “And that’s why you’ve got me. To introduce you to balance. Balance and Beaver Nuggets.”
I give myself exactly three seconds in his half embrace before awkwardly sliding out from under his arm, eyeing the bag with suspicion.
“To each his own.”
He holds his hands up in the air, flashing that brilliant smile of his. “Can’t say I didn’t try.”
I gesture a hat tip and walk off to find something green in this forsaken place. Thankfully, the premade salads are easy to find and fresher than I was anticipating. I also find my favorite green juice, which I buy for the next morning.
A few minutes later, I meet Anders at the checkout, and he has a handbasket full of crap. There’s the Beaver Nuggets, the now half-open bag of gummy worms, an enormous bag of cinnamon chews, a fried burrito, and the biggest tub of soda I’ve ever seen in my entire life. He’s also got a trucker hat with the Buc-ee’s beaver on it set at a jaunty angle on his head, one of the gummy worms hanging out of his mouth, and a T-shirt in his other hand.
“Have you ever acted like an adult in your entire life?”
“Only when I can’t help it.”
