I relax my smile a fraction.
Better.
“Hi…” he says, raising his perfectly coiffed brows expectantly.
Honestly, he’s nearly overplucked them into something resembling perma-surprise, and it’s just too bad he doesn’t have any good friends to let him know. Also, his tan is unsettling.
I realize there’s been an uncomfortable amount of silence because he’s still waiting for my name as I judge the fact that he’s wearing an honest-to-god crop top.
“Oh, sorry! Rafi,” I finally spit out, bumping elbows with him again.
That was probably awkward.
“Hi, Rafi. Nice to meet one of Everett’s friends.” Noting my polo, he asks, “Oh, a fellow UT alum! Undergrad or postgrad?”
“Um, neither. Faculty. Assistant professor of Arabic.”
“Professor of Arabia? Oh, what is that, like, Muslim studies or something? Like, are you even allowed to drink?”
I blink, unable to unpack everything wrong with that series of questions. Thankfully, Everett grabs his…Darren’s…arm and directs him to a different seating area. “Arabic, as in the language, dear. And he’s not Muslim.”
Darren’s eyes go big. “But he’s, like, Middle Eastern or something, right? Unless he’s Mexican.” Turning to me, he whispers, “Are youMexican?”
I hear snickering behind me and turn to glare at Parker, then turn back to Darren with a smile on my face. If he were being an asshole instead of just an idiot, I might’ve done something different with the conversation. “I’m an American, actually. Born and raised.”
He nods knowingly. “Well, your accent is really good.”
I flick my eyes over to Everett, who has the grace to look mortified. “Thanks. I get it from my parents.” I slide between them to pat Everett’s chest, giving him a quick jaw kiss. “I have to go to the restroom. I’ll let you get on with your date.”
I walk off before Darren can figure out the next ignorant thing to come out of his mouth.
Everett candefinitelydo better.
After doing my business I rejoin the group, trying to shake off the encounter. Parker hunches down next to me and whispers, “I thought Everett was your boyfriend? Why is he showing up here with a guy named Darren? Who, by the way, looks and sounds like a gay-edition fuckboy.”
She’s right—Darren is the dictionary definition of a fuckboy. I side-whisper, “No, no. Not at all. We’re not like that. He’s just my really good friend. Like, best friend.”
Parker’s side-eye is epic. “Tell me the truth: On a scale ofSt. Elmo’s FireRob Lowe toBeyond the CandelabraRob Lowe, how gay is your friend? Because if he’s anywhere in theWest WingtoParks and Recrange, I might just throw myself at him.”
I scoff at the idea, then realize I don’t…actually know. Parker is super cute, and Everett likes short guys, so if he’s into the multiverse, then I’m pretty sure they’d get along. I might have a better chance of keeping my snuggle buddy if Parker were his plus-one, so I merely shrug. “I’ll find out and get back to you.”
She blinks pointedly, then laughs super hard. Everett tilts his head in our direction, but I wave him off, mouthingshe’s killing me. Parker catches our wordless conversation and then gives Everett a thorough, excruciatingly slow up-down while licking her lips and raising her eyebrow at him.
Subtle, she is not.
Everett’s confused look cracks both of us up, and I lean over, whispering back, “So, I’m thinking at leastCalifornicationRob Lowe. Probably full-onCandelabra.”
“No shit. Also, are yousurehe’s not your boyfriend? He keeps staring at you and doesn’t seem super comfortable with that Darren person.”
“Well, it’s the first we’ve ever seen each other when he’s been on a date, so it’s just awkward all around.”
“Mmm.”
“Please, don’t even try to go there,” I say, stopping myself before belching out my whole sad story with my dead husband and the guy I’ve hate-forgiven. That’s a thing, right? To hate-forgive someone?
Hate-forgive. It’s the new wave, catch it!
Anyway…I don’t say any of that to her, but I’m starting to think we’re the kind of friends that maybe one day I can. Thankfully she takes the hint, and we continue with our drinking and snacking and bitching about the kids these days, who I feel will probably save the world.
