He whines at one particularly disturbing scene as I hug him to me, trying to think of Jesus, the queen, and handbags, practically begging my cock to stay down. I’m only moderately successful.
“Why are people so cruel?” he asks as I watch my inked hand move up and down his gorgeous, untouched skin, feeling him relax under my attention.
I don’t know, my tiny sadist, why don’t you tell me?
I hold him closer, and frankly, the idea of someone putting Rafi through what we are seeing on the screen makes my blood boil. The idea of conversion therapy of any stripe is enough to give me itchy murder-fingers, but I do believe I would go full nuclear if someone ever laid a hand on Rafi in that way.
Another ruthlessly adorable facet of Rafi’s personality is that if he gets too stressed, his motherboard overloads and he conks right out. Right now, I’ve got both Windsor and Rafi in my arms, and I can’t tell if this is the best thing ever or some lesser ring of hell.
That he sees me as some kind of guardian, or at least somebody safe enough to fall asleep against, makes my chest puff out with pride. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I’ve always liked smaller men because they make me feel big and strong. His small body against mine is a torture I willingly endure.
If I let him, he’d sleep snugged up against me for the entire night, but even I’m not that big of a masochist. So I wake him up after about fifteen minutes and we end the night as we always do, with a big hug and a kiss on the head before he walks out the door.
He gives me an extra squeeze and says into my chest, “Next week let’s watch something a little less heavy, okay?”
“Sure, they’ve got the new show that’s the spin-off to the gay coming-of-age movie—wanna watch it with me?” I ask, stroking his beard, which, along with the rest of his hair, is overgrown and adorably messy from all of the couch cuddling.
Fuck, stop touching his face, or you’ll boner up before you can cover your tracks.
He tilts his head back, his brilliant smile a Bon Jovi moment my cardiologist wouldnotappreciate. I didn’t see this particular smile until weeks into our friendship, and I nearly lost my balance the first time it made an appearance. My reaction hasn’t diminished in the months since.
“Yes! Definitely need some rom-com goodness after this week’s episode.”
“Anything for you, Rafi,” I say with equal parts affection and anguish, modulating my tone so he can’t hear the longing.
His smile grows impossibly brighter, and he says with his soft, precise voice, “You’re such a good friend, Everett. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Have a good night, love.”
He punctuates this with a lightning-fast kiss to my jaw since he can’t quite reach my cheek.
PS: It’s the jaw kisses that do me in.
I close the door and listen as he makes his way to the car, unzipping my jeans as the lock beeps, gathering myself in hand before he’s left the driveway.
Rafi on his knees, sucking my cock with a sparkle in his whiskey eyes.
Rafi on his back, his eyes widening as I slip inside, slowly stretching him.
Rafi’s breathy cries as I stroke him to climax.
That last one pushes me into oblivion before he’s driven to the end of the street.
God, I’m such a terrible friend.
I mean, yes, I’m genuinely glad to have him in my life, and I feel privileged that I can be here for him. I just wish the idea of touching another man didn’t give me the dry heaves, because I can’t think of another way to get him out of my mind.
Checking my watch, I realize I have to stop daydreaming and get a hustle on. As I switch out my license plates and load my kill bag in the trunk, I reflect on the way his heavy-duty grieving has given way to more frequent smiles and the occasional laugh.
I’m so happy for him, even if it’s further cemented the realization that he views me with all of the sexual attention of a damp pillow.
I can do this.
There’s a campus rapist to take care of tonight, and while I would’ve preferred for him to not have spent his college years terrorizing co-eds while his dad’s lawyer made the charges disappear, his accidental overdose on ketamine and MDMA is something I’m hoping will restore my equilibrium.
I’m not holding my breath.
3
Rafi
