He shakes his head. “No, I am not. I know that you are here to support Jake, so I just want to take a moment of your time, if that is all right.”
“Of course,” I say, reaching out to touch his arm, to connect.
He steps away from my touch, and I let him.
“I—I may never forgive you for the way you lead those men to my Asadi. I don’t know if I can.”
I nod. It’s hard to hear, but if anyone’s allowed to withhold forgiveness, this man is.
“But I do want to apologize for hitting you. I am not a violent person, and I did not go to the gym to cause you trouble. I just wanted to know the man who’d had such an influence on Asa’s life. The man whose terrible choices put the love of my life in my path. That day with the sparring, I… I think I just snapped. I had not been handling my grief well, and I am horrified that I could have severely injured you.”
An earlier version of me may have stood here and drowned in an ocean of shame. But I had to forgive myself, even knowing that it would be nearly impossible for him to do the same. Doing so allows me to focus on the man, clearly in so much pain, standing before me now.
“I accept, sincerely, your apology. And… the promise I made to Asadi is the promise I now make to you, to be kind with my words, and to be of service to people. And in that spirit, I want you to know that you are welcome at the gym. Always.”
He lowers his head. “I probably will not go.”
“I understand. The offer remains.”
With a short nod, Rafi walks away.
I wipe a few tears from my eyes but smile when I feel the warm presence beside me.
“That had to be hard.”
“It was.”
“I’m proud of you.”
I accept Heath’s powerful hug, letting myself be infused with his love. “Me too.”
Epilogue
six months later
Roly
There’s a dog licking my eyeball, and a young woman with very sharp elbows climbing into my bed. I open the eyeball not being licked and shoo Lewey off the bed. “Molly, can you not use your elbows to climb on top of me? I’d like for my spleen to stay intact.”
“Sorry, Roly. But I thought that your spleen wasn’t all that necessary.”
“How do you know if the spleen is necessary or not? It hurts when you lose it, I know that much.”
“My teacher told us in science class that you could lose your spleen and live without it. And your appendix, too,” she says, pointing at the new scar on her lower belly.
That had been a fun night…not. Ashley was visiting her parents in San Antonio, and Heath was helping Cricket move into her new condo when Molly started complaining about pain in her lower abdomen. I recognized the symptoms because Jules had also lost her appendix, so I took her to the hospital right away and had Ronan watch the other two.
I tell you what, a burst appendix is no joke.
Her mom and dad were there by the time she woke up, but in a total baller move, one designed to make sure that I look the other way years down the road when she tries to sneak in late at night, she asked forme. Heath’s look was a mixture of pride, love, and a teensy, tiny hint of jealousy. Ha.
Once she was in the clear (and staying at her mother’s house with Lily and Luna), you can bet that I got the rough-fucking I so richly deserved.
I still go to Bear Night, make no mistake about that, but now, like a pool shark who carries their own cue, I show up with my very own bear.
So, yeah. Taking an elbow to the midsection at o’dark thirty in the morning is not the life I’d envisioned for myself.
It’s so much better.
