“And now?”
“Nothing could stop me from this.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Roly
If I’d allowed myself to dream of such things, I’d say that being held by this man was a dream come true. The warmth and affection that overlay his power as a man and as a personality are so engaging that I’m lost in him. I follow him to his bedroom, and without overthinking it, I launch myself at him, practically feral in the way that I’m attacking his lips and grinding against him.
“I’m on PrEP and am bootie flu, et cetera negativo,” I say between moaning kisses, his skin on my skin making me reckless. “If you’re okay with it, I’d really like you to fill me up, Sexy Papa Bear.”
Before he has a chance to answer, I attack his lips again, unable to stay away from them a second longer.
He grunts, pulling back from me. “Roly, stop.”
I’m a deer caught in headlights. Maybe he didn’t like that suggestion? “I mean… I’m fine with a condom, I’m just saying that if you’re good, I’m good.”
Insert grimace emoji here.
Unless… wait, is that agigglefrom my Sexy Papa Bear? Like, a Nick Offermangiggle? Oh my god, I might come in my pants right now.
I open my mouth to say something, but Heath holds up his hand and says between these bubbly, little girl giggles, “Are you—are you calling HIV…bootie flu?”
“Yeah…”
More! Giggling! I can’t stand it.
“I, uh, had a lover who was positive, and that’s what we called it. We also called PrEP the flu shot, so… there you go. Wait, are you actually giggling? Like, is this how you really laugh?”
He snorts and giggles even harder. “Unfortunately, yes.”
I sit up and claps my hands in delight. “That isamazing.”
A second later a sad thought crosses my mind, and he kisses me, running his hand up and down my arm. “What’s this look for?”
I feel silly and look away as I wipe my eyes. Heath waits patiently as I try to find the words. “I make people laugh all the damned time. Always. And I just realized that in all of the years I’ve known you, I never knew that you giggled. Like, you’re my OG bear crush, and I’ve never made you laugh. At least not like that. And… I’m sorry.”
He pulls me into his lap, worshipfully running his hands over my body. “Yeah, but you make me laugh now, and that’s all that matters. And regarding your offer, I’m negative and PrEP’d up, too, and would love to fill this ass up,” he says, grabbing said ass and giving it a rough shake.
Awwww, yisssss.
It’sonlike DonkeyKong.
I start kissing him again, letting my hands search out his gorgeous, strong chest, teasing my fingers under his half-opened shirt, getting as much contact with his skin as I can. I angle up for a kiss, which he happily gives me, and I hastily unbutton his shirt the rest of the way, ripping it off his shoulders as I plunder his mouth with my tongue and rut against his gorgeous belly.
Heath pulls back again, and I whine, needing him so badly.
He shushes me and pulls me to him, whispering in my ear. “Let’s try being gentler with each other.”
Fuck, that sounds amazing. But…
“Oh-okay. Um, how do you … do that?”
“C’mere,” he laughs, gathering me in his arms, laying us down onto the bed so that I’m buried under his warmth. He looks at me with affection and what looks like newfound understanding. Like he’s actually seeing me for the first time. “Am I crushing you?”
“Yes, but in the best way possible. Don’t you dare move.”
He smiles and, in this moment, I don’t know that I have ever been with a more beautiful man. He’s fucking gorgeous, but he’s also fucking real. He doesn’t shy away from his actual feelings, doesn’t hide behind a mask. He just is who he is and fully accepts it. And something about a man who fully accepts himself sending a soft, accepting look to me… makes me feel like maybe I am not quite so worthless after all. Tears stream out of my eyes and filter through my hair and pool on the pillow.
