DB’s face is tight. “Roly, are you talking about the SPRINT team that was deployed? That was a two-day stopgap measure that you receivedthree years ago. I have a trauma therapist and go to group at least once a month, and I never spent a second in enemy hands. In fact, I’m here because I like this group in Austin. You should come with me tonight.”
“DB, I also got some therapy when I got back to the States. I don’t—”
Jake interrupts me, which I don’t thinks he’s ever done since I’ve known him. “Roly, you deserve the best fucking therapy in the world. What happened to you washorrible.”
God, he really doesn’t get it, and the irritating buzz of this conversation is more than I can fucking stand.
“What happened to me was nothing, Jake.Nothing.Nothingfucking happened to me, andeverythinghappened to the guy who’s dead.”
“Roly—”
I don’t give him a chance to deny the truth. “You’re a nice guy, Jake, but you’re full of shit. Iamthe one who put Asadi in that room, directly or indirectly, and I have to find some way to live with the fact that I’ll never be able to make it up to him. There isn’t a therapist in the world who can make that better. So, I don’t want you tofuckingtalk to me about it ever again.You hear me?”
I realize, belatedly, that I’ve pushed him against the wall and there is a tiny bit of spit on his face from me yelling at him. Which is an accomplishment since he’s, like, eight or nine inches taller than me. I stumble backward, holding up my hands. “Sorry, man,” I mumble and then run out of the office like my ass is on fire.
I get in my car and point it in a direction I have no business going in.
Chapter Seventeen
Heath
I’m on the phone with my brother when someone starts pounding on my front door as if they’re trying to break it down.
“Sorry, Ronan, someone’s at the door and it sounds like an emergency, gotta go.”
“Okay, but let me know if you need anything.”
“Love you, brother.”
“Love you, too.”
The knocking has not abated, and as I approach my entryway, it’s actually rattling the door on its hinges. “This had better actually be an emergency,” I mutter to myself.
I swear, I’m a much nicer person than this. Without even checking the peephole, I yank open the front door. “What?”
Roly’s standing on my front porch, and his face is anxious and sad.
“Oh my god, is something wrong? Is it Jean-Pierre?”
He shakes his head and pushes past me into my entryway. “No, Sexy Papa Bear. I just need to get fucked in the worst way.”
He starts taking off his shirt and heads in the direction of my bedroom. I shout after him, “Roly! Wait just a second. Did you not get my message?”
Roly turns on me, looking up at me like he’d like to, I don’t know, hit me?
“Heath, don’t ask me questions right now. Just fuck me. And don’t bother with lube unless you need it.”
He mumbles something likeI just need something to go right with this fucking shitty dayas he thumbs open the button on his jeans. He’s about to push open my bedroom door when I grab the doorknob and hold it shut. I of course would love to open the door, toss him on the bed, and make him forget whatever’s bothering him, but… I can’t. Not anymore.
“Roly. We are not on-demand fuck buddies. You can’t just come into my house and start undressing, demanding to be fucked. What if my kids were here?”
Roly stops and looks at me, horror-stricken. “Oh, shit! Are they?”
“No, but they could’ve been. What the fuck are you thinking stomping through my house like this?”
His eyes are large and pleading. “I’m sorry. I’ve just had the worst fucking day, and I just need someone to fuck me. Violently.”
I start shaking my head. “Yeah, I’m not comfortable with that. I don’t like this thing that we’ve been doing.” I pause, considering, and then continue. “I mean, thank you for obliterating, perhaps forever, the embarrassing memory of my one dudefuck. Sincerely. But this,” I say, gesturing between the two of us, “is not healthy. You’re… you’re a great guy, and you deserve something better than whatever this is.”
