I smother the sensation and put my hand on my hip. “Are you sure you’re bisexual? Are you sure you aren’t fully gay?” See? I can tease nicely.
He rolls his eyes. “Here’s the problem. That movieRoman Holiday?”
“Sure, it’s my favorite, right behindBreakfast at Tiffany’s.”
His eyes light up as he explains. “I love that movie, too, but withRoman HolidayI couldn’t make a decision between Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck. I would have both of them, in a heartbeat. I swear, gun to my head, if you asked me to choose between Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn in that movie, I totally couldn’t do it.”
Audrey, traitor that she is, crawls to the edge of my shoulder and paws at the air, pleading with her shiny black eyes for him to pick her up. He immediately falls under her spell and very delicately complies, setting her on his shoulder. She nuzzles into his ear, and immediately he’s a goner.
We’re just going to ignore what that’s doing to all of my pleasure and emotion centers.
Move along, please.
“Damn, it’s a good thing I already adopted her. If you’d seen her at one of our adoption events, she’d-a been long gone.”
She licks his cheek with her tiny tongue, and it’s like she’s invented the cure for cancer. His little cooing sounds as he gives her nuzzles and pets are doing zoomies on my insides. Swear to god, if I had ovaries, they’d have exploded by now.
“You’re not lying. I do have a soft spot for these tiny little dogs.” Cradling her against his belly (not jealous of a dog, not jealous of a dog), he asks, “She always shake like this?”
“Yeah, she was the runt to the litter and has some nerve and anxiety issues, probably due to irresponsible breeders. It’s hard to keep her warm enough.”
“I bet. Although her sweater’s really cute.”
“It was cuter when it had the lace collar that made her look like Queen Elizabeth, but she was having none of that.”
“Good girl,” he coos to Audrey, bestowing her with kisses and pets, rendering me,yes, incredibly jealous of a 4.5-pound dog.
Still talking in his Audrey-voice he asks, “Do you try CBD with her? I mean it’s not a cure-all, but it might help her with some of the anxiety and some of the shaking.”
“Wait, they have CBD for dogs?”
With his voice back to his normal range, he answers, “Yep. Lewey, one of my dachshunds, came from a really bad place, and he’s actually little older, so his joints aren’t all that great. But the CBD does seem to help. Nothing will take completely get rid of it, but better is better, right?”
“Where’d you get it?”
“I get it from the CBD shop in Pflugerville. The gal who runs it is supersweet, and she’s always like having me try different things. It’s also right next to Three-Legged Goat, which has an awesome selection of local wines.”
“I bet she’s just hitting on you,” I say, hoping not to sound jealous.
Ugh, there’s that word again.
How could I possibly be jealous? I’m an expert at the red Solo cup fuck, and at this point in the proceedings, I’ve usually got Grindr open and am teeing up my next adventure. Maybe it’s just acid reflux or something, and not a burning desire to find this CBD bitch who is hitting on my…
Ooookay,notgoing to finishthatsentence.
“Yeah, I’ve always been really bad at picking up on somebody hitting on me. Unless it’s you, because you’re about as subtle as a brick wall, and just as shameless.”
I mentally set aside a drive to Pflugerville and put my attention back on the glorious bear in front of me. “Well, hon, life’s too short for subtle. I go after what I want.”
An expression that I don’t really understand crosses his face, and he simply nods and then hands Audrey back to me. “All right, you’ve got your wallet. See ya later.”
He turns around without waiting for an answer from me and walks back to the sidewalk, then heads back toward his house. I’m usually pretty quick-witted, can usually say something flirty and fine and inappropriate, but that interaction… It was weird, right? Like, he was talking to me aboutRoman Holidayas though he hadn’t just fucked me into a coma, and then just sorta left, abruptly.
I check with Audrey, who blinks her enormous eyes in agreement.
Chapter Thirteen
Heath
