3
It was long past the regular dinner hour when Drew finally confessed he couldn’t go another round without “fueling the furnace,” and to his relief, Finn agreed. They’d spent hours in bed after the nap following their first, almost frenzied coupling, taking things slower and learning each other’s wants and needs. Drew felt he knew more about Finn’s body in one afternoon than he did about any lover he’d had in the last ten years. Not that he was going to complain.
Neither of them felt like going out, so Finn suggested they order in. After seeing the number of pizza boxes littering Finn’s apartment, Drew wasn’t at all surprised that Finn also had a drawer full of menus, and after a brief consultation, Finn had ordered fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, and banana pudding from a local mom-and-pop place. Fortunately the food was delivered quickly, and soon they were seated on Finn’s comfortable sofa, holding loaded plates, with big glasses of sweet tea in front of them on the coffee table.
Drew didn’t hesitate to dig in, closing his eyes in bliss as the hot, crispy crust of the chicken almost melted on his tongue. He chewed, swallowed, and then sighed happily. “So good,” he said, giving Finn a little bump with his shoulder. “Pita’s a damned good cook, but this is like sex on a plate.”
Finn chuckled and nudged Drew in return. “You reallyhavebeen deprived for a long time.”
“Oh, come on,” Drew said, leering at Finn playfully. “You’ve been deployed before, right? So you know how it is. Field food is still field food. No matter what you try to do to it, it’s never home cooking. And I already admitted that I’ve been deprived on the sex. Woefully deprived, as if you couldn’t tell.”
Finn laughed as he leaned forward and rubbed his ass with exaggerated care. “I probably won’t be able to walk right tomorrow. Not that I’m complaining.”
That seemed like a good lead in for Drew to bring up something that he’d been wondering about, ever since he’d walked into Finn’s bathroom after their first round. “So, am I going to have to worry that someone will take exception to your sore ass?” He gave Finn a sideways glance. “I couldn’t help but notice that you aren’t the only one using that bathroom.”
“Oh, that’s Joe’s stuff,” Finn said as he dug into his mashed potatoes and gravy. “Joe Morrissey. He keeps some necessities here, and I keep some at his place. You don’t have anything to worry about, though.”
Somehow that answered Drew’s question without really answering it at all. “Is he your ex? Or just a friend?”
Finn poked the mashed potatoes with his fork for a few moments before setting his plate on the coffee table. “Technically, we’re friends with benefits,” he said, shifting to sit facing Drew.
Drew let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “Okay. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t poaching on someone else’s territory. Especially another merc. It’s a way to get real dead, real fast.”
Finn laughed again, but it was quieter and less natural sounding than before. “You’re not poaching. Joe and I have an understanding. When he gets back, I’ll tell him what happened. I always tell him when I hook up with someone else, I always use condoms, and I get tested regularly.”
Drew could tell there was something bothering Finn, yet he didn’t know him nearly well enough to guess what it was. Years of experience had taught him it was best just to ask and get things out in the open. It was a practice that had served him well as XO of a company of deadly killers, and he figured Finn was cut from the same material as the men Drew had lead.
“But something is bothering you,” he said quietly. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Finn clasped his hands in his lap and tightened his fingers until the knuckles turned white. He blew out a sharp breath. “I probably shouldn’t tell you any of this. We just met, and I’m supposed to train you.”
Drew shrugged. “I think we threw the normalprofessionalboundaries out the window the minute I was buried balls deep in your ass, don’t you? You don’t have to talk to me about it, if you aren’t comfortable, but you probably should talk to someone. You weren’t concerned before we had sex, but something is eating at you now.”
“Do you want a drink? I want a drink.” Finn shot to his feet and hurried over to a small bar. He retrieved a bottle of top-shelf bourbon and poured himself two fingers. He downed that in one shot and poured himself some more before holding up the bottle and giving Drew a questioning look.
“Nah, thanks,” Drew waved a hand. “I just spent the last couple of years dry. I probably can’t hold it as well as I’d like.”
Finn returned to the couch and set the bottle on the coffee table before sitting down again, keeping a little distance between himself and Drew this time. “Before we had sex, I thought this would be another hookup. One and done, you know?” He took a sip of bourbon and then released a quiet sigh. “I didn’t expect us to click so well. That hasn’t happened since…. Well, since Joe.”
The little thrill Drew felt at Finn’s admission was offset by the fact that Finn was obviously not jumping for joy about their chemistry. He was quiet for a moment, gathering his thoughts. He didn’t want to add to Finn’s turmoil, but he wasn’t about to lie, either. With a sigh he put his plate down next to Finn’s, steeling himself for what might be a difficult conversation.
“I haven’t clicked with anyone like this either, not in years,” he admitted. “It sounds to me like Joe is your anchor, right? You tomcat around, but you always go home to him in the end. Is that a fair assessment?”
“Fair and accurate.” Finn tossed back the rest of his bourbon and put the glass aside. “The truth is… I love Joe. But we want fundamentally different things. He’d be perfectly happy with getting married, adopting a dog and maybe some kids, and living the white-picket-fence scenario. I’ve known for years that I’m not cut out for monogamy, so I pretend my feelings don’t run that deep and keep our friends-with-benefits situation going until he meets someone who can give him everything he wants.”
Drew contemplated Finn’s revelations, but it was hard to give any advice when he had never met this Joe, and had no idea what kind of man he was outside of Finn’s description. “Look, maybe it’s none of my business, but I admit, I don’t want whatever this is between us to be a one-and-done. But, I can tell you’re pretty hung up on this guy, even if you think you want different things out of life. Are you sure that’s what he really wants? And does he want that with you?”
“I don’t know.” Finn shrugged. “I didn’t want to mess up what we have, so I haven’t asked.”
“Am I correct in assuming, though, that you want to see what could happen between us?” Drew reached out and touched Finn’s shoulder. “I’m interested, but if this is going to eat you up, it’s better just to let it go, right? You’re a hot guy, you could go back to the way things were and just forget me.”
“I don’t want to let it go, and I don’t want to forget you.” Finn rested his hand against Drew’s cheek and stroked it with his thumb. “I love Joe, but no one else has made me feel the way you do in years, and I don’t want to walk away from that.”
“Okay, whatdoyou want?” Drew leaned into the touch. It had been so long since he’d felt the kind of desire he did for Finn, and he knew he was taking a risk. Hell, they both were, because who knew if things would burn out in a week or a month, and maybe in that time Finn would have wrecked a relationship that was obviously important to him in a way that was more than just physical.
Finn searched Drew’s face for a moment, and then leaned in and brushed his lips against Drew’s. “I want to see where this takes us,” he murmured.
Drew closed his eyes, kissing Finn back, but after a moment he pulled away. “All right. So… what about your Joe? Have you ever brought a boyfriend home to daddy before?”
