16
The steady beep of the heart monitor provided background noise, something Finn could tether himself to as he floated in a twilight state between asleep and awake. The antiseptic tang in the air grounded him as well, letting him know he was safe, not still trapped and blindfolded in that torturer’s room. If he opened his eyes, he would see the bland decor of a private hospital room, where he’d been moved once the ER doctors were satisfied that he was stable. He’d need surgery on his leg, but the gamut of tests they’d subjected him to had shown none of his injuries were life-threatening.
Currently, he was alone, but that would change once word got out that the tests were finished and he was settled in a room. No doubt Joe was in the nearest waiting room, sitting as still as a statue and not speaking to anyone unless he had to. Drew was probably with him, and Finn wouldn’t be surprised if Herc was there, too, not only out of concern but also ready to debrief Finn if he was up to it—and Finn had plenty to tell him.
The door opened, letting in the noise from the hallway. Finn rolled his head on the pillow and cracked his eyes open, hoping his visitor wasn’t a nurse coming to check his vitals or shove a bedpan under his ass.
But instead of medical staff, he saw Joe standing in the doorway, looking concerned and oddly hesitant. “Hey.”
“Get in here!” Finn beckoned to Joe with the arm that wasn’t hooked up to the IV and monitors, and he let the happiness he felt at seeing Joe show in his welcoming smile.
Joe hurried over to the bed, taking Finn’s hand in his and squeezing it. Finn could feel an actual tremor in Joe’s fingers. “How are you doing? Do you need anything?”
“Nope, I’m good.” Finn squeezed Joe’s hand in return, wanting to offer as much reassurance as he could. “The damage wasn’t nearly as bad as it could’ve been.”
With a sigh, Joe lowered himself into the chair next to the bed. “There shouldn’t have been any damage at all, Finn. I still feel like this is my fault. I wish they’d taken me instead. I never want you to suffer because of me. Never.”
Finn paused, having to work a little harder than usual to pull his thoughts together. He understood Joe’s perspective; he would have felt the same way had their positions been reversed. Hell, he felt guilty over falling for Drew because it had caused Joe pain and doubt.
“It’s easy for me to say you shouldn’t blame yourself,” he said at last. “But I don’t blame you for what happened. Not at all. It’s not about you, personally. Those assholes would’ve come after whoever was on that mission. If it’d been Jason, Chris might be lying here instead of me. Someone would’ve had to pay no matter what.”
“But it should have been me.” Joe leaned close. He was a big enough man that even seated he could lean over to kiss Finn on the forehead. “I just wish I had kept you safe.”
“In that case, you and I are both in the wrong line of work,” Finn said with a little chuckle.
Although he might be looking for different options, depending on how the surgery on his leg went. The guy who’d worked him over knew what he was doing, and it looked like he’d tried to injure Finn’s leg in ways that would keep him out of the field for good. Not that Finn intended to tell Joe that, especially since he wouldn’t know anything for sure until after the operation and rehab.
Joe tightened his grip on Finn’s hand, his eyes straying down to the bandaging on Finn’s leg as though he suspected the direction of Finn’s thoughts. “Maybe we are. Or I am. But… you understand that I have to deal with this, don’t you? So you’ll be safe.”
“I understand,” Finn said, and he meant it. He didn’t want to convince Joe not to follow up, just that he shouldn’t do it alone. “But I want you to take backup. Charging after these guys alone is a suicide mission, and I don’t want to lose you.”
Rather than agreeing, Joe just smiled crookedly. “I wish I could be here for you while you heal, but I need to move on this while the trail is fresh. Are you good with that? Would you feel like I was abandoning you?”
“Playing nurse would bore you to death, and if I want someone to hover and fret over me, I’ll call Payne,” Finn said. “He’d do a better job than you, anyway. Go get those assholes and don’t worry about me my feelings.”
“You’re right about that,” Joe murmured, though he seemed to relax slightly. “You’ll have Drew, too. I think… I think I may have been wrong to resent him so much. I’m glad he makes you happy. You deserve to be happy.”
Joe’s admission made hope bloom within Finn, especially given he knew how difficult it was for Joe to make it. Knowing Joe wasn’t stewing in resentment helped ease a little of Finn’s own guilt, and he squeezed Joe’s hand again.
“So do you,” he said. “And when you get home and I’m healed up enough to handle it, I’m going to make youveryhappy.”
“I’m looking forward to it.” Again, Joe lifted Finn’s hand, pressing a kiss to his palm before releasing it He rose to his feet and leaned over the bed. “I love you, Finn. I’ll always love you.”
“I love you too, Joe Morrissey, and I always will,” Finn said, reaching up for Joe with his free arm. “Now give me a kiss and get the fuck out. You’ve got bad guys to catch.”
“Yeah, I do.” With that, Joe leaned down and tenderly pressed his lips to Finn’s, kissing him as though he was afraid Finn might break.
But while Finn was injured, he wasn’t made of glass, and if they were going to be separated again, he wanted a kiss they could both carry with them. He snaked his arm around Joe’s neck and urged him closer, and he parted his lips with a soft moan, demanding more. With a sound that was almost a chuckle, Joe gave in, answering Finn’s demand with passion he rarely showed outside of the bedroom—or whichever room they were in when they got naked and desperate.
Finally, Joe pulled back. “Too much of that and I won’t be able to bring myself to leave.”
“Too much of that and we’ll have a swarm of nurses in here, wondering why my heart monitor is going wild,” Finn said with an unrepentant grin.
“Glad I can still make your heart race after all these years.” Joe laid one hand against Finn’s cheek. “I’d tell you to be good while I’m gone, but I know you.”
Finn laughed, even though it made his ribs ache, and he leaned into the touch. “That’s fair.” He gazed up at Joe, his expression growing somber. “Be careful. I want you to come home to me.”
“Don’t worry about me. Focus on getting better.” With that, Joe leaned in for another swift kiss and then stepped back from the bed. “I’ll send Drew in.”
