“Okay, I’ll leave you to it.” Herc clapped Joe on the shoulder. “Put together a list of requirements and get them to me by Thursday.” With that, Herc turned and made his way back out of the locker room, responding to greetings called out by other employees.
When Herc left, Joe was at a loss for what to say to Finn, so he turned to his locker, opening it and checking over what he’d left there a month ago. The good thing was that Joe was normally quiet at work, so Finn probably wouldn’t think it was unusual for him to simply go about things in silence.
Finn closed his locker and leaned against the door, facing Joe. After a few seconds, he folded his arms across his chest. “What’s up?” he asked, raising one eyebrow.
Joe shrugged, reaching for the shoulder rig he normally wore for concealed carry. “Not much. Had my debrief on the Pakistan mission with Herc this morning.”
“I figured that much,” Finn said. “I meant what’s up with Herc being concerned about you?”
There was no way Joe could say that he was pretty sure Herc was picking up on his inner turmoil, so he shrugged again and deflected, not wanting to lie outright. “It’s the jet lag. I’ve had a hard time sleeping since I got back, so I’m not as focused as usual.”
“That’s what you’re going with? Jet lag?”
Joe delayed responding as he slipped off his blazer and got into the shoulder rig. He started on the buckles, trying to come up with an answer that would satisfy Finn. “What else could it be?”
“Golly, Joe, I don’t know.” Finn shot him an incredulous look. “Maybe something to do with our last conversation?”
Summoning up all his courage, Joe met Finn’s eyes. “I’m fine, Finn. I told you, I want you to be happy. If this guy makes you happy, you have my blessing, if you want it.” No one would ever know what those words cost him, and he was glad to have managed to get them out without a single tremble in his voice.
Finn held Joe’s gaze and kept his voice low. “Sure, I want your blessing, but I want you, too. You make me happy, Joe, and what we’ve got is older and stronger. I’m a greedy little fuck, and I want both of you, but if I can only have one, I pick you.”
A part of him wanted to jump on that offer and tell Finn to forget about this new guy, that Joe would do everything in his power to make him happy. But that was theweak part, the selfish part, and he knew in the long run it wouldn’t work, anyway. Finn loved this other guy—Drew, he made himself think the name—and if Joe took Finn’s offer, it would not only be self-centered, it would make Finn unhappy in the long run. Joe would end up losing him anyway, because Finn wasn’t in love with him, not the way he was with Drew.
He shook his head, dropping his gaze to the ground. “I won’t do that to you. It wouldn’t be right. You’re my friend. I’d never make you give up the man you love.”
Finn stared at him for a moment before letting out an exasperated huff. “Come on,” he said, grabbing Joe’s arm and tugging. “I’ve got something to say, and I want witnesses.”
Surprised, Joe let Finn haul him out of the locker room. “I don’t understand. What is it?”
Finn dragged him all the way to the gym and didn’t stop until they were standing in the middle of the room.
“Attention!” Finn raised his voice to be heard above the clank of bars and weights, and the grunts as the handful of mercs in there working out pushed their straining muscles. “Attention, everyone! I have an announcement.”
Joe was bewildered by Finn’s strange behavior, and he looked around at his cadre—men he had known for years. They’d worked together, fought together, bled together, and Joe trusted all of them with his life. Well, except for one man in the corner, but he ignored the stranger. This was still embarrassing, and he lowered his voice, leaning close to Finn. “What are you doing?”
“Something I should’ve done before now,” Finn said. He clasped Joe’s hands and looked him straight in the eyes. “Joseph Patrick Morrissey Junior, I am in love with you.”
Over by the weight rack, Mojo picked up a couple of twenty-five-pound dumbbells and shot a sardonic look in their direction before returning to his bench. “And?”
“Old news, buddy,” said Dead-eye, amused.
“Yeah, we’ve known that for years,” Tailor piped up.
“Damn it, Finn, you interrupted us to tell us something we already knew?” D-Day chimed in. “What’s next, you gonna tell us you’re Irish and gay, too?”
Joe let the catcalls wash over him. He couldn’t look away from Finn’s beautiful face, his breath catching at the way Finn’s green eyes met his with conviction. “You are? Really?”
“I really am,” Finn said, squeezing Joe’s fingers tightly. “I should’ve told you before, but I was scared. I thought we wanted things that were too different. But I’d rather work my ass off to find a way for us both to get what we want and need than lose you, so… fuck it. I’ve said it in front of witnesses, so I can’t take it back now even if I wanted to.”
Joe swallowed hard, feeling his throat threatening to tighten up so he couldn’t speak, and that wouldn’t do. He’d never expected Finn to say those words, and he forgot everything else—the men watching them, the fact that they were at work, all the doubts that had plagued him for the last few days. He returned the pressure of Finn’s hands. “I’m in love with you, too,” he said, his voice softer than Finn’s had been. “I’ve loved you for years, but I didn’t want you to feel like I was pressuring you, so I never said it. I love you, Brian Sean Finnegan.”
With that, he pulled Finn into his arms and kissed him hard. Finn wound his arms around Joe’s shoulders and pressed close as he parted his lips and kissed Joe back with eager enthusiasm.
There were more ribald comments, but Joe ignored them in favor of deepening the kiss. He needed this—needed Finn—to heal the broken parts of his soul.
After a time, however, he pulled back to look at Finn, his joy tempered by the knowledge that even though Finn loved him, therewassomeone else who also had a place in his heart. “I guess we still need to talk.”
“We do.” Finn paused long enough to flip off the mercs who’d been teasing them before turning his attention back to Joe. “Just the two of us?”
