“That’s rough because I’ve never had anyone in love with me before.” Drew smiled crookedly. “Nor anyone I’ve loved the way you love Joe. I guess it depends on if you want to keep him in your life, and how badly you want that.”
“I don’t want to lose him, but I don’t want to lose you, either.” Finn let out a shaky laugh and scrubbed his face again. “I’m greedy, I guess.”
“It’s not greedy, not if it’s what’s in your heart.” Drew gave him another one-armed hug. “I’m glad I matter to you, because you matter to me, too. I think if I had a Joe in my life, I’d give him time. Maybe right now he sees this as an either-or situation. He doesn’t know me. He doesn’t even know how deeply you care about him, so he’s not got the complete sitrep, now does he? He might not even be willing to accept all of it at this point, but if he loves you, he’s not going to be able to stay away from you. So… I guess do what any good leader would do. Leave the door open. Tell him you care, but more importantly,showhim. And I’ll do everything I can to prove to him I’m not trying to monopolize you, that there can be room for us both in your life.” He paused and looked at Finn with a raised brow. “I doubt it’s likely to come up, but how would you feel if he and I unexpectedly hit it off? I mean with the same chemistry you and I have. Would that bother you?”
Finn tried to imagine Joe and Drew together, drawing on what he knew about their bodies. He imagined them both wearing nothing but black cargo pants, imagined Drew making Joe shiver by tracing the darks whorls of Joe’s tattoo sleeve with his fingertips. He could visualize Joe pulling Drew in and teasing with the rasp of his lightly furred abs against Drew’s skin, and a subtle dominance battle as they kissed. Tugged hair. Fingers biting into hard muscle.
“No….” Finn worked to get the word out past his dry mouth. “I can’t say that it would.”
Maybe if Joe or Drew were with someone else, he might feel differently, but the thought of the two of them together—of watching them, maybe getting himself off while they fucked—was far more arousing than he expected.
Drew chuckled. “Seems like you actually sort of like the idea. Well, who knows? Stranger things have happened. I doubt he could ever feel about me the way he feels about you, but acceptance might be enough, right?”
“Maybe,” Finn said. “Hopefully.” He sighed and slumped against the back of the couch. “I’ll give him some space, and we’ll see what happens.”
“And in the meantime, I’ll be here for you.” Drew put his glass down and turned to face Finn fully. “That’s not me trying to take Joe’s place in your life. I wouldn’t want to do that, even if I could. And it’s not me saying he’s doing anything wrong by needing time and space to figure this out, because he isn’t. I’m betting that he’ll figure out pretty quick that you’re worth anything he needs to do to be with you. He’s used to being your rock, and it’s going to bother him not being there for you, as much as it bothers you that he isn’t.”
“I hope you’re right.” Finn rolled his head on the back of the couch to look at Drew, and he offered a grateful smile. He had more hope now than he’d had when he first arrived. “I won’t drop the L-bomb on him yet. It might seem manipulative if I do it now. I’ll only detonate it if I have to.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Drew reached out to caress Finn’s cheek. “Do you want to stay here tonight? We don’t have to do anything you don’t feel like doing, but if you just need someone to hold you, I’m available.”
For once, Finn wasn’t in the mood for sex, but he didn’t want to be alone either. “I’d like that,” he said with a little nod.
“Good. Would you like another drink first? Or something to eat?” In his own way, Drew was as much of a caretaker as Finn, or Joe, for that matter.
“What were you doing before I got here?” Finn asked. He wasn’t hungry, and he didn’t want to get drunk, but it was only a little after eight o’clock, so he didn’t want to go to sleep, either.
“I was going to pop some popcorn and start on those Hobbit movies I missed while out being a badass merc,” Drew said. “I’m still a couple of years behind the pop culture curve.”
“That sounds perfect.” Finn leaned over and took off his boots, making himself comfortable while Drew made the popcorn.
Drew returned a few minutes later with a huge plastic bowl filled with hot popcorn and a couple of sodas. Finn wasn’t interested in either; instead, he stretched out on his side with his head in Drew’s lap, and he let the sights and sounds of the film wash over him while Drew absently stroked his hair. Gradually, the peacefulness of the simple domestic moment relaxed him enough that his brain finally stopped its anxious tumbling. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.
