Cass shook her head. “Not like this. You’re glowing, Dev.” She looked over to where Paul was perusing a display of brochures for beach adventures and boat rentals. “I’ve never seen you like this. Just be careful, okay? Not all vacation romances turn out like mine did, and I don’t want to see you hurt.”
Devin bent down and kissed her on the cheek. He was well aware how most relationships between people on the ship turned out, but he didn’t want to explain that for him, it was already too late. “Thanks, hon. Just wish me luck, okay?”
“Always.” Cass hugged him hard, then shooed him away. “Go on, take him to the beach. I’ll see you in a couple of weeks when you come back through.”
“See you.” Devin gave her a mock salute, then walked over to Paul and slipped an arm around his waist. “Ready for sand and sun?”
Paul slid his arm around Devin in return and offered a smile that was far more open and relaxed than Devin had seen before. “I’m ready. Let’s do it.”
They stopped at the breakfast buffet to pick up some pastries and coffee, then made their way down to the beach, eating as they walked along the packed sand near the water and being harassed by seagulls who wanted a share of the food. They hunted for shells, sifting through the sand and then washing their finds in the clear, warm water of the sea. Devin bought a couple of beach towels from a vendor, and they spread the towels on the sand, sitting side by side and watching the wide variety of people of all ages and nationalities who had come to enjoy the beauty of the clear Caribbean sea and the impossibly blue sky. When they got hungry, they purchased paper cones of fried shrimp and french fries from another vendor, and Devin laughed when Paul tried to steal some of his shrimp when he wasn’t looking.
They talked of everything and nothing. In the middle of telling Paul how his cousin Beau had announced his relationship with Jake, the man he married, on a nationally syndicated show, he stopped and nudged Paul to draw his attention to a teenage boy who was rolling along the sand on a wheelchair equipped with fat tires, headed with determination toward the water.
“I’ve seen those kinds of wheelchairs before,” he said. “I think it’s wonderful when people love something and they won’t let anything keep them from enjoying it.”
Paul was quiet as he watched the young man, who was laughing with his friends like he didn’t have a care in the world.
“It is,” he said at last. “I let myself forget that.”
“The important thing is you finally let yourself remember,” Devin replied, dropping a kiss on Paul’s cheek. “Now that you have, you’ll never forget again, right?”
Paul leaned into the kiss, smiling wryly. “No, I won’t.” He leaned back on his hands and stretched out his long legs, going quiet again as he kept an eye on the young man. “That could have been me,” he said. “I was lucky.”
“Even if that had been you, it wouldn’t make you any less of a man.” Devin ran his hand down Paul’s left leg, brushing the top of his prosthesis. “You were lucky you weren’t killed, or left in a coma, or with brain damage. It was lucky for me too, you know. I wouldn’t have gotten to meet you.”
“It could have been so much worse.” Paul watched the path of Devin’s hand, but he didn’t pull away. “Including the ‘not meeting you’ part.” He glanced sidelong at Devin, his expression speculative. “You never asked how it happened. Most people do.”
“I figured you would tell me if you wanted to, and if you don’t, well, that’s your right,” Devin said. He smiled slightly, because hehadwondered, but Paul’s obvious discomfort and sensitivity about his injury had made Devin keep his questions to himself. “Not everyone has the right to know everyone else’s business. We all knew my cousin lost his leg to an IED, but he couldn’t talk about the actual circumstances for a long time. It was too painful for him, so I understand your need to distance yourself.”
“It’s not just the loss, but the trauma surrounding the loss, I think,” Paul said, sounding contemplative as he turned his gaze toward the ocean. “It’s a lot to process. For your cousin, it was the IED. For me, it was a wreck.”
Devin gave Paul’s thigh a gentle squeeze. “If you want to talk about it, I’m happy to listen.”
Paul’s gaze took on a faraway look as if he wasn’t seeing the rolling waves or the other beachgoers or even Devin anymore. “I’d gone to Myrtle Beach for the weekend to meet up with some friends. Jack wasn’t with me. I don’t remember why now. Probably something to do with his work. I was driving home Sunday evening, and it started raining hard enough that there were flash floods popping up within minutes. Some guy was going too fast, hydroplaned, and lost control. It was a multicar pileup, and I was in the middle.”
The recitation was detached and factual, and yet Devin had no problem visualizing the scene and sensing the wealth of pain those brief sentences disguised. “Were you trapped?” he asked softly.
“Apparently so.” Paul looked at Devin, his gaze sharpening back into focus, and shrugged. “I don’t remember anything except hearing a loud bang. I was told later that I had to be cut out of my car, and I was unconscious. I was also amazingly lucky that no major arteries were punctured because the first responders couldn’t have gotten to me before I bled out.”
Hearing the reality of how close Paul had come to death sent a cold chill down Devin’s spine, and he moved closer, pressing against Paul because he needed the reassurance of touch. Knowing his feelings for Paul, even with the uncertainty of what the future might hold as far as anything permanent developing between them, he couldn’t bear the thought of a world without Paul in it. Paul didn’t hesitate to slide his arm around Devin’s shoulders, as if he too needed the comfort of touch to ground him in the present after recounting the past.
“I’m sorry for what you suffered and for what you lost,” Devin said. “I’m even more sorry for the anguish it’s caused you and the way you’ve felt you had to armor yourself against other people. No one should have to go through what you did. But you’ve come through it, and you’re here. I imagine it can make you that much more appreciative of what you didn’t lose and make those who really care about you appreciate you even more.”
“Yes, I’m still here,” Paul said, a determined glint in his eyes. “And I think I’m ready to start living again rather than just existing.”
“Good.” Devin smiled at Paul’s words, and it struck him how much more alive Paul looked. Devin had thought Paul was attractive from the beginning, but now Paul exuded an added vitality, something that made him look even more gorgeous. Not for the first time, Devin was struck by an odd sense of familiarity, as though he’d seen Paul before. But that was impossible, and he shrugged it off as being déjà vu. All that mattered was that Paul was here, and he seemed happier. Devin couldn’t resist teasing him a little. “That’s the spirit. The way you look right now, all those midlevel execs above you on the corporate ladder better watch out, or you’ll knock them off on your way up.”
An odd look flickered across Paul’s face, and he rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. “Uh…. Well, it’s a family-owned company, so maybe not.”
“What, they won’t give you a chance because of nepotism?” Devin snorted. “That would suck. If you have the talent and the drive, you shouldn’t be limited just because someone else has family connections.” He paused, then laughed and shook his head, realizing how absurd he sounded. “I’m a fine one to talk. The two biggest restaurants in my hometown are both owned by my extended family, and a lot of the kids work there. I’m sure you wouldn’t be working for the company if you didn’t feel their policies were fair. I can’t see you being the kind of person who would settle for being passed over unfairly.”
“No, definitely not.” Paul cleared his throat and stared out at the ocean again. “Anyway, I don’t want to think about work right now. I’m off duty until we get back to the ship.”
“Good point.” Devin lay down on his towel and opened his arms. “Since you’re still off duty, how do you feel about making out with the help? You haven’t kissed me for at least half an hour, and I’m feeling deprived.”
“You’re much more than the help.” Paul shifted so he could stretch out beside Devin and rolled into the embrace. “Much, much more,” he said, his eyes warm with affection as he leaned in to claim a kiss.
Devin wrapped his arms around Paul, parting his lips in invitation and giving himself over to the pleasure of the moment, of feeling the man he loved pressing him into the warm sand. He was glad Paul considered him more than just a coworker. He couldn’t let himself place too much hope that Paul would return his feelings before the end of the cruise, not when Paul was still getting over his previous lover’s rejection. Devin had no doubt Paul was grateful to him, but Devin would need to be careful not to want more than Paul was ready to give him.
After all, Paul had said he was ready to start living again, but he’d said nothing about that life including Devin Walker.
