“Mm… good. So do I,” Devin murmured against Paul’s skin, before taking Paul’s invitation. With a low growl, he bit down harder on the firm peak and worried it between his teeth.
Paul cried out as arousal flared higher and hotter, and he wound his arms around Devin, wanting to feel the warmth and solid weight of Devin’s body so he could assure himself this was real.
Devin kept up the torment for a while, then moved down Paul’s body, blazing a trail with lips and tongue and teeth over his torso. When he reached the waistband of Paul’s khakis, he looked up, his face flushed and eyes dark with desire. “I want to taste you.”
Icy fear clenched around Paul’s stomach. What if Devin was turned off by what he saw? But Paul’s body was thrumming with need, and he could hear his therapist saying he had to start trusting people again. Swallowing hard, he nodded.
Devin stroked Paul’s cheek again, the gesture one of comfort. “Everything will be fine, I promise,” he said. “Let me show you how to feel good again. Do you want me to leave your pants on? Will that make you feel more comfortable?”
Devin’s thoughtfulness nearly brought tears to Paul’s eyes, and his anxiety faded a little. Devin was being so careful and considerate, and Paul wanted to do something to show how much that was helping. He wanted to be brave, to take a risk. He wanted to fling caution aside and trust Devin because he was so tired of being trapped by fear.
“No,” he said at last. “I want to get undressed. I need to know it’s going to be okay, and the longer I wait, the more time I’ll have to get anxious.”
Devin hesitated, searching Paul’s face as though to make certain Paul really meant it. Then he nodded and sat back on his heels. “If that’s what you want,” he said. “I promise you, it will be okay.”
“It’s what I want,” Paul said with a decisive nod. He was still apprehensive, but he was ready to move past the fear that had kept him in a stranglehold for over a year.
“All right.” Devin stood up and then sat down next to Paul. He slid his arm around Paul’s shoulders, holding him for a moment, and pressed his lips to Paul’s cheek. “Let me know what you want me to do.”
“I’ll need to take my leg off myself,” Paul said, leaning against Devin and drawing comfort from the embrace. “But you could help with everything else, if you’re interested.”
“I’m definitely interested in getting you naked,” Devin replied, then nipped Paul’s earlobe playfully. He slid his free hand down and stroked Paul’s cock through his clothes. “It’ll make it easier to drive you out of your mind with pleasure.”
Apparently, Paul’s cock wasn’t interested in the angst either, because it stirred and hardened beneath Devin’s palm, and Paul whimpered softly.
“I like that plan,” Paul said as he leaned over to remove his sneakers and socks.
Devin used the opportunity to nuzzle the back of Paul’s neck, pressing his lips to the sensitive skin at his nape, then grazing it with his teeth. “You’ll have to tell me what you like. And what you don’t.”
A shiver rippled through Paul, and his skin prickled with the heat of arousal at the feel of Devin’s lips and teeth on his neck. “I likethat,” he said, reluctant to sit up straight again even after he’d taken off his shoes and socks.
“That’s a good start.” Devin kissed Paul’s shoulder, and Paul felt Devin’s fingers at the button of his khakis. “How should I help? I’ve been told I have clever fingers.”
“You could prove it by helping with my pants,” Paul said.
“It would be my pleasure.”
Devin easily dealt with the button, then drew down the zipper. He slipped his hand inside Paul’s pants and cupped his palm over Paul’s cock. “My, my. Is this all for me?”
Paul sucked in a hissing breath, his arousal ramping up even more. It had been so long since he’d been touched by any hand but his own, and he’d almost forgotten how good it felt. “All yours. You can do whatever you want.”
“Then let’s get these pants off you. Lift up, and I’ll pull them down, okay?”
Paul leaned back on his hands and lifted his hips off the bed, gnawing on his bottom lip now that the moment of truth had arrived. He was about to revealeverything, and he could only hope Devin hadn’t overestimated himself and his ability to handle the sight.
With gentle care, Devin eased Paul’s pants off his hips, then pulled them down until they fell to Paul’s ankles. Devin’s smile never wavered as he glanced over Paul’s scars and prosthesis, and then he looked back up again.
“You’re gorgeous,” he said. “I’m sorry for the pain you’ve suffered and the uncertainty it’s caused you. But the scars on your body don’t make you any less beautiful in my eyes.”
Paul searched Devin’s face and eyes for any sign of dissembling, repressed dismay, or even disgust, but he saw nothing but kind acceptance. He looked down at the ropy scars on his legs and hips, some from the accident and some from surgery afterward, and he couldn’t see them as beautiful—couldn’t seehimselfas beautiful—but it was enough to know Devin wasn’t turned off by the sight.
“I’m glad you’re okay with it,” he said at last as he bent to strip off his pants, and he tossed them in the pile with his shirt and socks.
“Hey.” Devin lifted a hand, cradling Paul’s chin and urging Paul to meet his eyes. “I mean it. When I look at you, I see the man I’ve wanted as a lover almost since the moment I laid eyes on him. I see someone who is brave enough to do what scares him most because he hasn’t given up on life. I see a strong man who has given me the gift of trust. Do you know how special that is? Falling into bed with some muscle-bound guy might be easy in one sense, but you’re giving me more than just the opportunity for a quick fuck. This is special, becauseyou’respecial, and I want you more than I think I’ve ever wanted anyone in my life.”
Paul’s heart surged as if it were trying to break out of his chest, and his eyelids burned as he struggled to hold himself together. He never thought anyone would say such things about him again, and he could scarcely believe he was hearing them now.
“You’re special too,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “You’re giving me more than I thought possible.”
