“Why?” Devin asked, his expression serious. “We’re both free. We haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Your job is here, and mine is in Charleston,” Paul said, latching on to the easiest reason. “And technically, I’m your boss.” Although there was no technically about it. Paul was higher in the chain of command than anyone on this ship—than anyone in the company except his father. “So this could be seen as an abuse of authority.”
But Devin shook his head, smiling again. “I was the one who kissed you, and you didn’t do or say anything to indicate my job was in jeopardy if I didn’t. I paid attention to the sexual-harassment training, Paul. I kissed you because I’m attracted to you, and I’d like to think you kissed me back because maybe you’re a little attracted to me too.”
“A little.” Paul quirked his lips in a half smile. “But I hadn’t planned on starting a shipboard romance.”
“Neither had I, yet here we are.” Devin replied. He stroked his fingers through Paul’s hair again. “I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, much less when we reach port and we’re back in the real world. What I do know is that I like you, I admire you, and I’ve been happier being in your company than I’ve been with anyone else in a long time. I do find you attractive. You’re smart and sexy and something tells me you’re a good person, the kind of person I’d like to get to know better. If you enjoy being with me, and you want it to continue… well, that’s what I want too. Carpe diem, right?”
“Living in the moment has never been my strong suit,” Paul said, although for the first time, he was tempted to try. Devin’s words were persuasive, and besides, if he were honest with himself, he had to admit he did enjoy being with Devin, and he’d felt happier over the last few days than he had since before the accident.
“Why don’t you give it a try?” Devin asked softly. “You deserve a little fun and happiness in your life. You’ve paid karma forward in a pretty big way, I think. What do you want, Paul? Don’t look past the end of the cruise. Just tell me what you want right now, what will make you happy and feel alive.”
What Paul wanted was for Devin to kiss him again. He wanted more of those gentle touches that made him feel special and desirable again. He wanted to take a risk, just a little one.
“What I want….” He found it difficult to get the words out, but then he drew in a deep breath and forced himself to be bold. “What I want is to keep going with whatever this is and see what happens, but I’m afraid.”
“What are you afraid of?” Devin asked. He continued to stroke Paul’s hair. “If you think I’ll react as your ex did, I’ll tell you right now you’re wrong. I would never do anything to hurt you. You may not know me well, but I hope you know enough to believe me.”
“I’m not afraid you’ll behave like Jack,” Paul said, shaking his head. “I’m afraid….”
Of getting too attached, of Devin feeling betrayed and rejecting Paul when he found out the truth, of Devin overestimating his kindness and compassion when he was faced with the reality of Paul’s scars.
“I like you, and I’m afraid I’ll lose you as a friend if things go wrong,” he said at last, which was the only way he could think of to articulate his myriad fears with any grain of truth in it.
“You won’t lose me as a friend,” Devin said. “We’ll go at your pace, okay? I want the same thing you do: to see where this attraction between us leads. If it’s to just friendship, that’s fine. And if it’s more… well, I’m not afraid of that either.”
Maybe it would be possible to relax and enjoy whatever developed with Devin without getting too attached. He could indulge in a vacation fling; people did that all the time. Then when the cruise was over, they could part as friends. Maybe this was what Paul needed to let go of his fear of being hurt and rejected, to help him believe he’d find love one day.
“Okay,” he said, tightening his fingers on Devin’s back. “Let’s see what happens.”
“All right.” Devin grinned. “That’s the spirit. Look at you. I almost don’t recognize the man who came on a cruise with nothing but button-down shirts.”
Paul snorted, but he was amused by Devin’s teasing. “I’m not sure I recognize myself. You’re a fast worker.”
“Don’t tell my mama I’m fast—she’d be horrified,” Devin replied. He caressed Paul’s cheek gently. “It doesn’t matter if you don’t recognize the man you were. All that matters is that you end up being the man you want to be.”
Paul allowed himself the luxury of leaning into the touch. “He disappeared for a while, but I think maybe he’s starting to come back,” he said, smiling slightly.
“I’ll be quite happy to meet him,” Devin said. He leaned in to kiss Paul again, keeping it light and pulling back after only a few moments. “But now I should probably pull myself away and go to bed, since I have a shift in the morning. I wouldn’t want anyone who is technically my boss to get the idea I’m shirking my duties.”
“I do have the authority to reintroduce flogging and walking the plank,” Paul said, keeping a straight face as he released Devin at last and took a couple of steps back.
Devin laughed as he went to retrieve his backpack. “I’m a very good swimmer, you know,” he replied in a teasing tone. “As for the flogging… well, that’s a discussion for another time, don’t you think?”
Paul blinked, startled by that response and its implications, and he felt heat stinging his cheeks at the imagery forming in his head. “Yes, definitely another time,” he muttered.
Shouldering his backpack, Devin walked over to Paul and brushed his fingertips along Paul’s arm. “Sounds like it will be an interesting conversation,” he drawled. Then he opened the door to the stairwell. “After you.”
Paul exited the deck and headed back down the stairs to the sports deck, and once there, he paused, debating whether he wanted to return to his cabin or go to the lounge for a drink. Despite the lateness of the hour, he wasn’t sure he could sleep. His mind was already filled with whirling thoughts about what had changed between himself and Devin and what he’d agreed to. A drink might relax him enough that his brain would settle down and let him sleep.
“The Seafarer is still open, right?”
“Twenty-four hours a day,” Devin replied. There was more light on the deck, and he cocked his head to one side as he studied Paul’s expression. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine. I think,” Paul said, smiling wryly. “I’d like a drink before bed, that’s all.”
Devin nodded. “Makes sense. Good night, Paul. I hope you sleep well.”
“Thanks.” Paul hesitated, and then he decided to take a risk, and he leaned in to brush a light kiss to Devin’s cheek. “Good night.”
“I’m pretty sure I will,” Devin replied, then gave Paul another smile before turning and heading for the elevators. It might have been Paul’s imagination, but he thought Devin might have put extra sway in his gait.
Lost in thought, Paul headed to the Seafarer, where a handful of other passengers were enjoying a nightcap. He sat at the bar and ordered a glass of wine. The bartender was friendly and attentive, but she wasn’t Devin, and Paul quietly drank his wine and wished Devin were there to lean on the other side of the bar and tease him.
