Herc led the way to his office, and Payne walked with him in silence, not wanting to say anything until they were assured of privacy. It was bad enough how word of Hunter underestimating their resident PITA and paying the price was likely circulating already without Payne’s assessment of the situation being overheard as well.
After they’d stepped into the office, Herc closed the door. Rather than taking a seat behind his desk, he gestured to a big leather sofa against the back wall. “Have a seat. We might as well be comfortable if this is going to get as deep as I think it is.”
Payne went over to the sofa and sat down, and he absently ran his fingers through his hair as he thought about where to begin.
“It’s going to get pretty deep,” he said after Herc sat down as well. “I mean,damn, Herc — do you have any idea what you’ve dropped in my lap?”
Herc shook his head. “I didn’t know he was that bad,” he admitted. “But I can see why L&G wasn’t about to send him back into the fray. He reminds me of some of the Vietnam vets I’ve worked with who had things so tightly bottled up, you knew when they finally exploded it was going to be messy.”
“That’s it exactly,” Payne said. “He’s got walls made of titanium reinforced with gun turrets and ‘keep out’ signs, but that’s the easy part. The hard part is what’s going on behind those walls. He’s got some deep anger issues, but I’m willing to bet that under all the anger, he’s as fragile as bone china.”
For a long moment Herc said nothing. “If I’d known how bad it was, I never would have asked you to take him on,” he said finally. “Look, Payne, you don’t have to do this. I felt bad enough asking you when I thought it was a regular case of PTSD, but this is far more. He probably does need a professional.”
“He does, but he’s not going to trust a professional.” Payne spread his hands. “He’s fronting, and he’s trying to do it well enough to get himself back on active duty. He’s not looking for help.”
“What should I do?” Herc asked. “L&G aren’t going to send him back to the field, especially if you and I recommend against it. I’m relieved he said he didn’t want to work for any other outfit. Some of them are so desperate for men to fulfill their contracts, they’d probably overlook certain irregularities. But that doesn’t mean he might not do it anyway or decide to take off on his own, like some one-man demolitions force. He’d be pretty good at it, too, right up to the moment it killed him.”
“I wouldn’t put it past him,” Payne said. “My guess is he’s more interested in either working himself to death — perhaps literally — in an attempt to outrun his feelings or making someone pay for his partner’s death. Either way, he doesn’t seem to care about getting better at this point, which means we have limited options. The first option is to let him go and whatever happens, happens, but personally, I don’t consider it to be much of an option.”
“Agreed.” Herc rubbed at his chin as he frowned. “What do you see as the other options? The only thing I can come up with is to call in D-Day, since the two of them get on pretty well. But I wouldn’t be surprised if Hunter could talk D-Day into an impromptu visit to Iraq. Daryl is more the type of guy to enable Hunter’s impulses than talk him out of them.”
“Well, you could get one of our resident psychiatrists to go undercover,” Payne said, ticking the points off on his slender fingers. “But the danger with that is one whiff of ‘therapy is in session,’ and Hunter is going to close up tighter than any clam.”
“True enough,” Herc agreed. “I could ask one of them, maybe Drake Matthews, but Hunter isn’t dumb. He could look up any of them and find out who they were.”
“Exactly, which leaves only one other option. Me,” Payne said with a wry smile.
“I don’t want you to feel like you’re being railroaded.” Herc shook his head. “If you don’t want to do it, it’s not a problem. I can take him on myself, since he knows he has to go through me to get back to L&G. I could take him out to the survival school in Utah and have us both dumped into the desert for a couple of weeks. Being naked and without food or water tends to put a lot of things in perspective.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” Payne said, chuckling.
Herc offered the chance to go through the survival school to anyone who wanted it, and Payne had gone as a way to challenge himself and see if he could complete it. He had, but the experience ranked right up there as one of the most difficult things he’d ever done.
“I don’t feel like I’m being railroaded,” he continued. “I’m worried about what could happen if I fail. He needs help, and I want to give it, but I admit I’m at a loss for where to begin.”
“If you fail, he’s no worse off than he is now, right?” Herc asked wryly. “You could try talking to him. Hunter isn’t normally a loner, you know, even though he appears shut off right now. He’s always been a pretty social person, and he reads constantly. If you start out on some subject — art, movies, whatever you’d like — maybe you can draw him out into talking to you. You’ve already seen how he’s underestimated you physically. Maybe by the time he figures out he’s done the same thing about that devious mind of yours, you’ll have wormed your way over those walls of his.”
“I’m willing to give it a shot.” Payne shook his head. “I can’t walk away now that I’ve met him. Oh, the perils of being a caretaker! I knew it would bite me on the ass one of these days. Anyway, I’ll see what I can do. If it seems like I’m making things worse instead of better or not getting through to him at all, I’ll let you know, and we can formulate plan B.”
“All right,” Herc agreed. “And if you need anything — and I do mean anything — all you have to do is ask for it. That includes if you need to be relieved from the surveillance to take Hunter off somewhere as part of helping him. In fact, I’ll have backup standing by, just in case.”
“That might not be a bad idea.” Payne gave Herc a grateful smile, relieved Herc understood how difficult the situation was. He wasn’t sure he would succeed in giving Hunter Callahan the help he needed so badly, but if he failed, it wouldn’t be for lack of trying. “Wish me luck,” he said as he stood up.
Herc stood as well. “Luck and everything else I can wish you,” he said. “And if it gets to be too much, don’t hesitate to let me know. I don’t want you to go nuts trying to keep Hunter from going nuts. I like Hunter, but ultimately, he’s Matthew Greer’s responsibility.Youare my responsibility.”
“Understood,” Payne said, and he meant it. He knew the dangers of getting overly involved and driving himself to the edge of burn out all too well, and he didn’t intend to let it happen again. “I’ll send you reports on Hunter along with the regular mission reports.”
“All right.” Herc put a hand on Payne’s shoulder. “I have faith in you, but I don’t expect miracles, so don’t feel compelled to deliver one. Unless, of course, one occurs.” He grinned. “It can happen.”
“I won’t say no to a miracle or two in this situation,” Payne said dryly.
“I don’t blame you.” Herc stepped back. “You have my cell phone number, so don’t hesitate to call if you need me. Got it?”
“Got it. Thanks, Herc,” Payne said, and then he headed for the door, already losing himself in thought about how he could approach Hunter to help him open up. With any luck, Hunter would continue underestimating him until he burrowed under those thick walls — and then the real work would begin.
