8
Payne woke up before Hunter, slipped out of bed, and went down the hall to his bedroom to take a shower and get dressed. Since he didn’t have plans to go anywhere, he put on gray sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt and didn’t bother with shoes. Then he went downstairs and got a pot of coffee going and started planning his menu, although he held off on cooking anything until Hunter showed up.
By the time Hunter got up, Payne was putting together a nice brunch even though they were both still on night shift hours and it was well after noon. It always took a few days for Payne’s internal clock to reset, and he wasn’t worried about rushing it since Herc had given him an open-ended break to work with Hunter.
It wasn’t long after the coffee finished brewing that Hunter entered the kitchen. He was dressed in soft, faded jeans that molded to his legs, and a black tank top that set off the ink of his tattoos. His hair was mussed, and he looked better rested than Payne could remember seeing him before, although he still yawned before giving Payne a somewhat sheepish smile.
“Hi,” he said, seeming perhaps a little hesitant, as though he wasn’t quite certain how he should greet Payne on this type of “morning after.”
“Hey.” Payne offered a reassuring smile as he handed over the mug he’d put aside for Hunter’s use. “I’ve got sugar on the table,” he said, pointing to the small, round dining table on the other side of the kitchen. The whole wall was covered in long windows looking out onto the backyard, which Payne kept landscaped. There were white shutters on the windows, but he had them open so they could enjoy the view. “There’s some creamer in the fridge, if you want some. Are you hungry? I was thinking about making some egg sandwiches.”
For an answer, Hunter’s stomach growled, and he chuckled, seeming to relax. “That would be great, thank you.” He carried the mug over to the table and spooned in sugar while he looked out the window.
“This is a nice place,” he said. “Can you believe that at my age I’ve never owned a home of my own? I could afford anything I wanted, but it seemed kind of pointless, when I was always in the field.”
“You’ve done what works for you,” Payne said as he rummaged around in the fridge for bacon, eggs, and cheese. “Me, I tend to stick close to home, so I could afford to put down roots. Besides, I wanted someplace where I could have some privacy with enough room for a dedicated playroom.”
“Makes sense,” Hunter said. “I sure as hell wouldn’t have wanted anyone overhearing me last night.” He dropped his gaze, looking down into the mug. “I don’t want it to go beyond you and me.”
“It won’t. You have my word,” Payne said. He didn’t even intend to tell Herc about their alternative therapy methods. All Herc needed to know was whether it worked or not. “I understand about being discreet. I don’t flaunt what I do, because most people have preconceived ideas about BDSM and the people who practice it. Besides, it goes against the ‘safe, sane, and consensual’ motto to bring people into your scenes without their consent, which is why play is done in private, not in public.”
Hunter pulled out one of the chairs and took a seat at the table, watching Payne as he fixed breakfast. “But what about those clubs? I read about them online, so I took it with a grain of salt. But they seemed to get off on being in public.”
“The BDSM clubs? Those are safe public spaces. If you go to one of those, you know what you’re getting into. Or if you don’t, you figure it out right quick,” Payne said, grinning at Hunter over his shoulder. “The point is, they’re designated spaces where it’s okay to play in public. But going to a regular bar or club and doing a scene? Not cool. You’re pulling everyone else in the place into your game, and they didn’t agree to it. There are people who don’t know better or who don’t care. We try to teach the ones who don’t know, and the ones who don’t care, well, they’re assholes, and they’re probably going to find themselves with a very small pool of play partners.”
“Hm.” Hunter hesitated. “Do you like to go to those kind of clubs?”
“I don’t go on a regular basis, but I do enjoy it.” Payne grabbed some tongs so he could put the bacon on a paper towel lined plate to drain. “Having someone watch while I play isn’t one of my huge hot buttons. I prefer one-on-one scenarios, but clubs and private play parties are good ways to meet new people.”
“I can’t imagine wanting anyone to watch.” Hunter made a face. “But then, I’ve never had exhibitionist tendencies. Sure, I don’t have any real body modesty, but that’s just in front of other mercs. This is all so new to me… It’s like this different world I had no idea existed.”
“I don’t mind answering any questions you have,” Payne said as he cracked a couple of eggs into his cast iron skillet. “I like keeping the lines of communication open.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it.” Hunter took a deep sip of his coffee before continuing. “How did you get into it? Was it something you’d always thought about?”
“The how I got into it part is easy. Internet!” Payne struck a dramatic pose and made jazz hands. “I didn’t always think about it, at least not on a conscious level. First, there was the whole ‘oh, hey, I’m gay’ realization. Fine-tuning my sexuality after that took a while.” He popped some bread into the toaster while he gathered his thoughts, trying to explain what had been a convoluted process. “During some of my teenage fumblings, I realized Ireallyliked biting, hair pulling, and stuff like that, but I was like you. I had no idea BDSM was even a thing. Then I had a boyfriend who wanted to be spanked, and holyshit, did that go over well with my libido. I was a little scared, though, because I thought it might be weird, but Google showed me I wasn’t alone.”
Hunter chuckled. “The internet is for porn,” he drawled, then paused thoughtfully. “The idea of being spanked doesn’t bother me. I like playing rough myself. I can’t say I’m really into pain on the receiving end, but you know what’s funny? The thought of hitting someone else, even if they want it, gives me the willies. Outside of combat, I mean. I’ve beat the shit out of plenty of guys, but it isn’t the same.”
“It required a mental adjustment for me too,” Payne said, inclining his head to acknowledge the point. “But I do get off on having someone tied up and at my mercy. I like knowing I can hit them just right and give them what they want too. If it’s not your thing, though, you don’t have to continue once it’s no longer useful for you.”
“I’ll have to think about it,” Hunter said slowly. “I suppose it depends on if the guy I’m with is into it.”
All kinds of questions rose up in Payne’s mind. “What if the guy you’re with is me?” “Are you interested in dating me?” “Are we going our separate ways once you’re feeling better?” But he didn’t ask, partly because he wasn’t sure Hunter was in the frame of mind to think about such things and partly because he was hesitant to put himself quite so far out on a limb. Hunter was letting him in slowly, but it didn’t mean Hunter was interested in him as anything more than a friend.
“It’s something you’ll have to work out if you end up with someone like me,” he said at last. “Speaking personally, I wouldn’t want you to do things you aren’t into just for my sake, but at the same time, this kind of play is important to me, and I wouldn’t want to give it up completely.”
Hunter looked at him intently. “I’m sure you don’t lack for accommodating partners. Not with your looks and personality. How many men have been your willing slaves after one of those wide-eyed looks you give?”
“Enough to keep me happy in the short term,” Payne said, deciding it was time for some reciprocal honesty. Hunter had laid himself bare in the playroom, and Payne thought it might help ease any awkwardness if he opened up as well. “But I haven’t found anyone I’d like to be with for the long term. That’s what I’ve been looking for lately. Someone I can settle down and build a future with.”
The answer seemed to take Hunter by surprise. “I got the feeling from the stuff I read that Doms sort of got around, if you know what I mean. But you know how the internet is — all the most lurid stuff seems to turn up first in the searches.”
Payne got a couple of plates and assembled the sandwiches, and then he carried them over to the table, pausing long enough to snag some napkins along the way.
“Like anything else, it depends on the person,” he said as he set down the plates and then took a seat. “Sure, there are Doms — and some subs — who want to play the field, and there are Doms who have long term monogamous relationships with their sub. I played around when I was younger, and it was fun, but I’m at a point in my life where I want something different.” He gazed at Hunter steadily. “I want to fall in love. I want to make a commitment to someone, maybe even marry them if it’s what they want, too.”
Again Hunter gave him an intent look, then picked up his sandwich. “I can see that. You seem to be the marrying kind. Like Stack was…” Sadness flitted across Hunter’s face. “He liked to take care of people, like you do. Especially his son.”
