In fact, the gift was in the box on the table, but Asher wasn’t going to admit that.
Zach stared at the card, then closed his eyes, his shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry. I tried so hard not to push you, and I didn’t know if I was reading more into our relationship than was really there. Part of me never fully believed I was special. I didn’t think I could be enough for you.”
“I tried every way I knew how to show you that you were more than enough.” Asher shrugged and spread his hands. “But obviously you didn’t believe it. What’s more, you didn’t trust me. You didn’t ask me who Colin was. You just assumed I was cheating on you.”
“I’m sorry.” Zach’s voice was ragged. “You’re right. It’s my fault. I wish I could go back and do it all over again, but I can’t. I should have trusted you. Now I’ve wrecked everything, when all I wanted to do was make you happy.”
Some of Asher’s anger drained away, leaving him feeling tired and defeated. “I don’t understand,” he said, shaking his head. “What did I do—or not do—so wrong that made you think you weren’t enough? How did I make you distrust me so much?”
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Zach said, lifting his head to look at Asher. “It’s my own insecurity that got to me. I didn’t think I could be a substitute for an infinite supply of handsome men or that I was special enough to be the one who helped you get past your issues with commitment. I’m just… me. A guy who has always faded into the background. Maybe part of it was that you never noticed me before that night. I figured you’d wake up and realize I was that guy you’d never noticed before, and you’d wonder what you saw in me in the first place.”
Asher felt as if he’d been tossed into the deep end. “I don’t know why I didn’t notice you before. Maybe I’m just a shallow asshole, and it took tight jeans and a new haircut for me to see you. But it wasn’t the new look that kept me coming back after that first night. That was all you.”
Zach swallowed hard. “I’m so sorry,” he said. “Sorry I didn’t trust you. Sorry I didn’t talk to you about it right then. I hope you can forgive me one day, because I love you and I can’t bear the thought of you being angry at me.”
Asher’s breath caught in his throat at Zach’s admission. He’d hoped Zach would fall for him the way he’d been falling for Zach, but he hadn’t wanted to rush into any declarations, given his inexperience with relationships.
“Having your heart means nothing if I don’t have your trust as well,” he said, taking a step closer to Zach. “Can you trust me? Can you believe it when I say that you’re enough for me, and I haven’t even looked at another man since we’ve been together?”
“Yes,” Zach replied, his voice soft. “I’ve been an idiot, because I let my insecurity overwhelm my common sense. I won’t make that mistake ever again.”
“If you ever start doubting whether you’re special enough to keep my interest even when you aren’t wearing the tight jeans, I have something that might serve as a reminder.” Asher retrieved the box and held it out to Zach. “This was supposed to be your secret exchange present, but I thought we were broken up, so I took it back. For reasons that will become obvious, I didn’t want you to open it in front of everyone else.”
Zach’s eyes widened as he accepted the box. “You had my name in the exchange?” He turned his attention to the box, smiling slightly as he ran his finger over the wrapping paper. “You wrapped it yourself. Thank you.”
Slipping his finger under one edge, Zach opened it with care and folded the paper back to expose the box within. He lifted the lid, where a simple card with “From A to Z” rested atop the gift. Zach smiled at the card, then took it out and gasped when he saw what the box held. On a bed of white tissue rested a handmade stained glass heart, catching the light with shades of ruby, garnet, crimson, and scarlet glass. There was a loop at the apex of the heart with a short length of red velvet ribbon through it so it could be hung on a tree. Zach lifted it out of the box and held up the heart to watch the play of light through the glass. When he looked at Asher, his eyes glimmered with unshed tears.
“It’s beautiful, Asher. I love it. Thank you.”
“That’s what I commissioned Colin to make,” Asher said, relieved Zach liked the ornament. “I bought a live tree and had it delivered while I was in DC so I could surprise you when I got back. I thought we could shop for ornaments together. I had this fantasy of it being our tree.”
“It can be reality, if you still want it to be,” Zach replied. He put the heart carefully back into the box and placed it on the table, then reached into the pocket of his overcoat, withdrawing a small, glittery blue gift bag. He held it out to Asher. “I won’t claim to be a great mind, but it seems we do think alike.”
Asher shot a curious look at Zach before opening the bag and pulling out the paper-wrapped object within. He put the bag aside and unwrapped the paper carefully, not wanting to drop whatever was in it. Finally, he uncovered a small, hand-blown glass ornament with a hole in the front and a tiny woodland landscape with a miniature tree house inside it. Along the top, his name had been painted on the glass in the elegant calligraphy that he recognized from the Richardson family ornaments.
“I’ve never gotten my own ornament before,” he said, feeling as if once again, Zach was giving him what his own family never had.
“I thought since you were deprived of a tree house as a child, maybe it wasn’t too late to give you a bit of the magic they hold,” Zach said. “I wanted to ask you to come home with me for Christmas and be a part of my family, because I think you belong with me.”
Such simple words, but ones Asher hadn’t heard—much less felt—before. He’d spent years keeping people at a distance when what he really craved were connections. Now he had a chance to build for himself what his father had never given him, and he wanted it more than anything.
“I think so too,” Asher said, pushing the words past the tightness in his throat.
Zach stepped closer and cupped Asher’s cheek in his palm. “Do you forgive me for being so stupid? All I want to do is love you and make you happy. I promise I’ll never doubt you again.”
Asher slid his arms around Zach’s waist and pulled him closer. “I forgive you.”
Zach released a breath as he wrapped his arms around Asher’s shoulders and held him tight. “Thank you,” he murmured, his lips close to Asher’s ear. “From the bottom of my heart.”
Having Zach back in his arms felt good and right, and Asher wanted to stay there for a while and try to make up for the lonely days spent apart. “You owe me for lost time, you know,” he said. “I had a fabulous reunion planned.”
“I will pay you back with interest,” Zach said fervently. He pressed his lips against Asher’s jaw. “Anything you want. Even if you want to spank me for being naughty.”
“I’d say you deserve it,” Asher said mock sternly. “But later. As much as I’d like to bail on the party, I can’t. But at least it’ll give me the chance to flaunt the man I love in front of the whole firm. I want everyone to know you’re taken—and so am I.”
Zach drew back and gazed at Asher with wide eyes and a joyous smile. “You love me?”
“I gave you my heart, didn’t I?” Asher nodded toward the box on the table. “When it comes to emotions, I’m better at showing than telling. Maybe that was part of the reason you felt insecure. My messages weren’t clear enough.”
