Eventually, Willow’s voice began cutting into my consciousness.
“You might start allowing sounds back into your awareness as you begin slowly bringing yourself back into an awakenedstate of consciousness. Becoming aware of the shape your body takes in the space it fills in the room.”
I looked desperately at the woman in my mind as I heard shuffling around me, pulling me from my connection. She smiled and squeezed me tightly again. I could come back, she was reassuring me; she’d be here.
“Noticing again where your body connects to the surface beneath it. Maybe inviting a little movement into your fingers or toes and opening your eyes whenever it feels right for you.”
The sound of mats being stacked jarred my eyes open. I was surprised to see that half of the room was already standing, packing their things away without me having noticed.
Dax was sitting upright. My cheeks itched, and as I brushed my fingers up to scratch them, I realised I’d been crying. That’s what Dax meant by a moment.
Bodies moved towards the kitchen, and I wanted to get away from them stat, but I didn’t feel ready to move.
“You’re new,” Willow’s voice chimed as she crouched beside me.
I nodded.
“It’s okay—sometimes people need a bit of extra time to come back. Do you want to do some grounding?”
I nodded again, feeling spacey.
“Now, this might feel silly,” she smiled, “but can you look around the room and tell me five things you can see? Maybe things you wouldn’t normally notice.”
I rattled off a list of things, and she smiled.
“Good. Now, five things you can feel with your body, then smell.”
Okay, Dax had definitely been here many times. But I realised how close this grounding exercise was to what I did naturally when I was feeling out of control and felt comfort in it.Then, the realisation dawned that I hadn’t had a nightmare since Olivia’s funeral.
“Weird,” I whispered.
“It does seem a little weird to start with,” Willow nodded, misunderstanding my out loud thinking. “Are you feeling okay?”
The room felt noisy all of a sudden, my body deeply relaxed, and my mind—thank God—felt fully online again. I bobbed my head.
“Good. Yoga Nidra takes you through sleep brain waves, so it can feel similar to waking up in the morning.”
“Then I need a coffee,” I sighed, stretching my arms over my head.
“Girl after my own heart. People always assume I’m a green tea and matcha kind of gal but I’m a shameless coffee addict,” she grinned, then drifted off toward the kitchen.
Now that I could relate to.
Dax appeared in her place.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said, pressing my lips together. “That was…”
“Intense?” he grinned.
I covered my laugh with a hand. “Very intense. But surprisingly good.”
I bent my knees, moving side to side as I stretched my body out. Okay, maybe it wasn’t all lame. I could maybe see the appeal of this kind of yoga. I’d maybe even come again. Even just to see Dax lying down in his sweatpants.
“Dax?”
“Mm?” he murmured, rolling up his mat.
