Olivia was no longer a lead. I was back at square one.
I'd expected to feel relieved that my swift exit had been validated, but something else was trickling inside me. That damn guilt again.
Something that, when it came to Olivia, I felt at an alarming depth.
There was something else too. It snaked across my back and settled into my stomach like lead. Disappointment.
She was the girl trapped in my recurring nightmare because I never saved her. I always stayed quiet. And now I could neversave her. I couldn’t even apologise. I hadn't realised that I’d needed to. Not only for her, but for me.
I felt the sting of having the option taken away from me, and heat burned through my body, taking me off guard.I should have done something.
I should have found her earlier.
If not for the house making me look for her, I should have looked for her anyway. I'd needed to see she was okay. Her cries had been echoing in my mind for decades, ignored. Just like they had been in the nights I’d really heard them.
She deserved someone to hear her, and I’d failed again.
Well, I wouldn't make that mistake now. Not a chance.
I twisted my head back towards the counter.
“Could I switch that to an extra-large, to go?” I called out.
The server dipped her head in acknowledgement, still humming as she reached under the counter.
I grabbed my phone and typed a message quickly to Rick.
ME: Change of plan. I’m going back. Explain later. Still love you.
Determination filled me in a way I hadn’t known in weeks. This wasn’t about me anymore.
It was about Olivia.
Like it always should have been.
Rick’s reply arrived seconds later. My stomach twisted as I read it.
RICK: About time you figured that out. Love you too.
Had he not wanted me to come back?
I didn’t give my brain time to overthink it.
“Do you happen to know where the closest petrol station is?” I asked the dark-haired woman behind the café counter. Her gold bracelets clanked together as she handed back my card.
“One minute that way.” She pointed in the opposite direction from where I’d come. “Opposite side of the road.”
“Thanks.” I dipped my head, taking my coffee from her, hoping its size meant a third or fourth shot had been involved.
The drive back to Glades Bay felt far longer than my escape from it. Like last time, I had very little in the way of a plan. I’d attend Olivia’s memorial for a start. But more immediately, I was going to have to face Breeze.
I’d left without a proper goodbye and deleted the only message she’d sent after undoubtedly discovering my note. It could have been a raging fuck you, for all I knew.
Pulling up outside the white and cherry blossom-painted building felt... uncomfortable. It was 10 p.m., and there were still lights on upstairs. Was she upset I’d left? Relieved?
A few hours ago my determination to leave this place had been so strong, and yet here I was.
Lead filled my feet as I crossed the pebbled ground to the door. Breeze might have been one of the sweetest humans I’d ever met, but she was also feisty. A quality most survivors had. I wasn’t sure which version I was going to get.
