The pressure shattered in my chest like ice, and I sprang back, putting distance between us.
“What is it? Did I hurt you?” he asked, concern twisting his features as he reached out. I sprang further away, shaking my head.
Fuck this. I didn’t know what he was doing, but I wasn’t having any of it.
“I’ve got to go,” I blurted, sprinting for my car.
What the hell was he playing at?
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
I was leaving.That much I was sure of. Trevor could have the children’s home for all I cared. I was willing to admit I’d been the victim of temporary insanity these past few weeks, and the stress of losing my job had affected me more than I’d realised. I was pissed at Rick for encouraging me to come here. But more than that, I was pissed at myself.
Business only.I thought back to Dax’s words and the cross he’d drawn on his chest.
What a load of crap.
And I’d fallen for it—hook, line and sinker. If he wanted to get laid, he should’ve just been honest about it instead of pulling all that perfect, considerate nonsense.
A loud “Ha!” burst from my throat as I parked outside the narrow courtyard that led to Steamy Sips. The cobbled ground was empty of tables and chairs at this time of night. I glanced around at the blank white walls. I’d barely admitted it to myself, but I’d imagined barrels of fresh flowers out here. Maybe a little vegetable stand out front. A tiny dream of how to make an extra income for Breeze and me while playing in a pretty garden.
Temporary insanity indeed.
My phone vibrated.
DAX: I’m really sorry, Riley. I didn’t mean to upset you. Can we talk?
Technically, I’d been the one to kiss him. I wasn’t under any illusion that my body and mind were in full consent the whole time. Nor was I implying anything untoward had happened. Not intentionally, anyway. It was the gentleness that got me. I shivered, sadness creeping in from nowhere and settling in my chest.
I thought back to the horror on Dax’s face as I’d staggered away from him, his features coiled, his mouth opening and closing. That was another reason I had to leave. I couldn’t let him see more of my brand of crazy. I thought back to the last call with my ex, Jared after I’d vomited out an embarrassing storm of untrue things onto his perfect lap.
"Who are you?"he’d said."You’ve always been cool as a breeze. That’s why I liked you. I think it’s best we leave it here and not try to do the long-distance thing."
I’d expected that answer. And I’d deserved it. But it still hit me like a punch in the vagina bone. I’d never shown him the real me, so of course he’d run a mile when he saw the wolf for what she was.
I would not do that again now. I couldn’t explain my response to Dax because I didn’t understand it myself.
The lights were off inside, and I was relieved that Breeze had taken Taco with her to her business budget night at Harry’s. If anything could have stopped me leaving, it was that smiling ball of fur. Packing took surprisingly little time, and I turned to look back at the single room, its duvet and sheets now washing in the machine. Its drawers and wardrobe empty of any proof I’d ever been there. I don’t know what it was about that thoughtthat rolled through my chest so heavily that a sob caught in my throat.
I needed to get out of here.
I pulled my phone from my satchel and texted Rick.
ME: I’m coming home.
His reply was instant.
RICK: What? Why? What happened?
ME: Tell you when I see you.
That was all I could manage. I was grateful for the few hours’ drive it would take to get back. Maybe I’d have figured it out by then.
I thought about Breeze as I turned off the last of the lights upstairs and walked down to the café. The lump in my throat swelled. I couldn’t wait for her. She’d been the fastest friend I’d ever made—besides Taco. She didn’t need to feel the fallout from my unravelling too.
Instead, I opened the top drawer of the kitchen filing cabinet and pulled out the notepad and pen.
I’ve decided to go back to London. I couldn’t find what I was looking for here.
