I climbed the stairs two at a time, not giving my brain the chance to object. My enthusiasm drained quickly when I reached the top and saw the wooden door to the small room lying flat on the floor like a welcome mat.
“Woah,” Dax said as he came up behind me and was confronted with the spray-painted words on the wall of the small room within.You tried to break us.
A lump like I had tried to dry swallow a pill formed in my throat.
“Let me clear the upper level,” Dax said as he backed away. I could hear his steps slowing in areas of the house that would typically shock people who hadn’t seen it before. The toilet stalls with no doors. The deadbolts at the top of dorm room doors. The small wet room with a hose hanging from the wall—our only version of a shower. The water always turned vicious, like a fire hose, if too many of us had wet the bed the night before. All of us squeezed together, our skin pressed against one another, as if we hadn’t already been stripped of enough.
I couldn’t take my eyes off the words.
You tried to break us.
Did they break me?
Was I no good because I was born that way? Or did they make me no good?
I swallowed the bitterness as I’d never know for sure. I didn’t remember life before the children's home, too young I guess. But I remembered the relief I felt getting picked up by Dad when I was five. June and Josh flanked on either side as we left. The boys were kept separate from the girls, so I don’t even remember seeing Josh here. It was a particularly grave offence to interact with a boy.
I remembered the guilt on Dad’s face. June always said it was because he couldn’t care for us after Mum died. I always believed he knew something. Because after that, we were never sent away again. Not there. Not anywhere else.
Dax cleared his throat as he entered the small room.
“You all good?”
“Fine,” I snapped. I was tiring of the check-ins. This was why I didn’t let people into my life.
He rolled his eyes and then moved on to a small cupboard door that was hanging off its hinges.
“There’s something in here,” Dax said as he shuffled around in the small space. I shuddered as I walked into the room to peer into the tiny closet. Call me whatever you want, but I wasn’t prepared to get into it like the detective had. I didn’t trust that this place didn’t have the ability to swallow me in there with the walls cackling. The only reason I’d stepped into the room of my nightmares was because the door was on the floor and I knew it couldn’t close again.
“Here,” he said, pointing. He started taking pictures with his phone. The flash lit up a small cabinet set into the wall, its key missing and the door slightly ajar.
“Any idea what might have been in there that someone wanted?”
Goosebumps prickled across my scalp as I nodded.
Dax raised an eyebrow, leaning one hand against the wall for balance in his crouched position.
My eyes widened with dread. “Videotapes.”
CHAPTER NINE
Back atSteamy Sips,I took a seat at the empty counter. Breeze’s eyes widened. I must have looked as bad as I felt.
“What did you do to her?” she demanded, hands planted on her hips, as Dax pulled up a stool. Letting him come back with me had been the compromise we struck instead of me going down to the station to give a statement about the break-in. By "downtown" he meant five minutes down the road.
The station sat on the other side of the town square, just a few buildings away, next to the early childhood centre. Still, he’d have had to cuff me to get me there. Dax looked at me out of the corner of his eye, clearly trying to figure out what he could share. I gave him nothing.
“I’m fine, guys, really,” I said as I held a palm to each side of my forehead. They shared a look.
Breeze swung the tea towel she was dusting mugs with over her shoulder, never a day off for her it seemed.
She leaned on the counter with one hand. “What was the deal with the break-in then?”
I combed my fingers through my hair and let my gaze drift, unfocused, towards the kitchen.
“Teenagers, probably. I imagine it’s a laugh breaking into the spooky old children’s home for drinks.” I forced my mouth into something that vaguely resembled a smile.
“O-kay… coffee?” She asked, shooting Dax another deadly look before heading to the machine.
