“There are all kinds of knives and equipment in there.” She shook her head, remembering how many times Emma reminded her that he was a grown man now.
She stepped away, haunted by memories of her failed relationship with her father. A flood of emotion lurked justbeneath the surface, along with thoughts of lost love with Evander, all waiting to erupt.
To keep herself busy, Angela decided to take a walk so she wouldn't follow her son’s every move all day, making him feel boxed in. “Boxed in? Who would have thought that was a thing?”
She made her way to the water’s edge. The craggy rocks were not a comfortable place to sit and contemplate life, but she did it anyway.
Her mind was in a thousand places—feelings and thoughts she couldn’t control—and the present situation loomed over her, and she was troubled. Still, her heart ached for the man she’d known as her father and for her childhood, long gone.
“Why did you do that to me? Why would you turn your daughter and your grandson away just because Evander and I weren’t married? I will never understand. In twenty-one years, I am no closer to figuring it out than I was at the moment. Now I’ll never know.”
The tears came again for a father lost, for time she’d never get back, for a grandson who’d hardly known his grandfather, and for all she’d done, alone. She tossed rocks into the water, the chain linking her emotions—hard when the pain grew and soft when regret hit.
“Always so busy, I was always working. Dad, you had no choice in the matter after I went to live with Mom’s sister. You left me no choice. Evander would have married me, I know it, but he needed to build his life, and I loved him enough to be patient. Sending me away was wrong. You left me no other choice but to leave Mistletoe Harbor forever.”
Three
Angela didn’t know how long she had been sitting there, pondering the mistakes and triumphs of her life. The choices she was forced to make by her father had turned into success, even if it came at the expense of an overworked life.
It felt good to say it all, to release her grief into the wind that carried it away to nowhere. The breeze chilled her bones, and the rock beneath her was cold where she sat. With no one in sight, she stayed. When the tears stopped falling, Angela was able to move again.
Back at the house, she found Steven strumming the guitar he’d brought with him, only half knowing what he was doing.
“How are you feeling, Steven?”
Steven shrugged his shoulders and kept on strumming.
“Steven, I…if you ever…need to talk, you know I’m always here for you”.
He frowned. “Relax, Mom. I’m just chilling here. Nothing is happening, and really, I know I gave you a heck of a time growing up, but I’m grown now. It's different, and I have a lot to figure out. I won’t lie, I get bored easily—we both know that—but I’m trying to find my way. Just give me a break, okay?”
Panic settled deep inside, but Angela knew better than to press him. Nodding, she turned away, her nerves scattering in all directions. “I was thinking?—”
The front door burst open. “We're here!”
A rush of five children, ages five to twenty, hurried through the door after her sister Emma, and just like that, she could breathe again. Stepping forward, Angela hugged her sister. “Goodness, I've missed you. I can’t believe we’re all here. I’m so sorry.”
“Me too.” Emma’s embrace was as warm and comforting as the Oklahoma ranch she and her husband owned. “Sorry we're late. With my brood, it takes forever to do anything. We had to bring the dogs, as they go everywhere with us, and well, here we are.”
Emma’s eyes shifted to Steven, who had stopped playing his guitar after a dog climbed onto his lap. “I see Sadie misses you! I was hoping you’d come out to the ranch this summer. We could’ve used your help, Steven.”
“You know me, always switching things up. Hey, Aunt Emma, I’ve missed you!”
Angela stepped back, grateful for the small blessings of a sister and brother-in-law who often understood her son’s needs better than she did. The embrace was touching and unsettling at the same time.
She moved around the room, giving hugs to all the kids and scratches for the dogs. “We’re going to need food, and a lot of it. We barely have anything here, but I wouldn’t expect much since it was just our dad.”
With tears in her eyes, Emma followed Angela into the kitchen. “Yeah, the last time I came to visit, he was eating hardly anything. Stubborn as nails that man was. I tried so many times to get him to come move to Oklahoma with us, but he wouldn’t.”
A hint of envy took hold of her, and Angela hated herself for feeling it. “I’m so thankful at least one of us had a good relationship with him.”
“Well, as good as it could be. He wasn't the most lovable man after Mom passed. You know this. And when you left, he hated himself for not being more accepting but refused to change. Pride, I guess.”
The sound of chaos quickly became deafening as all the kids and all the dogs took over the house. Her heart warmed to the idea; pain and sorrow over losing her father were easier to bury when there were hugs to share and conversations long overdue.
In the days that followed, there was chaos and drama as preparations for their father's funeral took top priority. Since Emma and her husband seemed to have things under control, Angela was more than happy to take care of feeding and tending to the younger children and the house.
“Oh, you’re back. How did it go?” Angela asked as she took macaroni and cheese out of a crockpot for the younger kids to eat while the older ones played video games with her son.
