Stirring the large pot of macaroni while melting the cheese roux in another large pot, she sighed. Memories came flashing back in her mind as fresh as the day they had happened. One terrible moment after another, starting out with the day her sister left and never returned.
At first, the time she and Ronan spent in the Caribbean had been blissful, as if they were on a mission. She had hoped to find her sister shacked up with some surfer dude while Ronan worked day and night to pay bills and take care of what needed to be done.
It felt so real to her, like a marriage, until things dwindled away, and the search for Phoebe put a wedge between them. That’s when the arguing started. Day and night, they’d argue about everything but what was really bothering them both.
She could still recall those nights he’d mentioned, the nights she’d hide herself in the bathroom and cry, missing her sister so much. She couldn’t bring herself to let him help. He was all she had.
Every day, he’d go out on the water and search for Phoebe, doing things that scared her just as much as her sister's disappearance. The fear of losing Ronan was too great that she buried it deep until her pain went away.
Tears rolled down her cheeks as she continued to stir the sloppy mix of macaroni and cheese while she remembered. Desperately, she’d wanted to tell him how she felt but couldn’t until he finally left, and she was alone.
Losing her sister and him devastated Luna so much that she almost had a nervous breakdown if it weren’t for their neighbor Ivy, who became her rock. Ivy died a little over ten years after he left, but during that time, she’d been like a mother to Luna.
“You’ll never know how you broke my heart and almost broke me. Losing two people I cared about more than life itself was too much to bear for a young woman.” She stirred and stirred, her emotions simmering alongside the gloppy mess.
“You left. You just walked out and left me alone.” The memories of months of trying to search for him after that slipped into her mind. “Thank God for you, Ivy. You saved me from an utter breakdown.”
The tears faded away eventually. The last thing Luna wanted to do was dredge up old wounds. She wanted nothing but peace between her and Ronan now that they were both home again.
Spooning the mixture into the overly large pan, she let the thoughts fade away. She let it cook to perfection, taking it outan hour later, golden orange and cheesy with the slightest brown crust around the pan’s edges. “Perfect.” She smiled, placing a heavy piece of aluminum foil around it.
Before she went to bed in the wee hours of the night, she cleaned up the bathroom, surprised by the discovery of her sister's charm bracelet in the cabinet.
Luna went into the kitchen and sat at her parents' ancient wooden four-chair table. Jonah came out of the bathroom and grabbed a drink of water. “Hey, Mom what’s that? Is that Aunt Phoebe’s?”
“It was. I made this for her so long ago, and I forgot about it until now. She didn’t like jewelry, but I did. I’d gotten a jewelry kit from Grandma and Grandpa for Christmas, and I wanted her to make one with me. Of course, she refused. All she wanted to do was make ships in a bottle and stuff like that. When she didn’t, I made her this. She was so happy it was blue and told me she would cherish it always. Then, one day, she lost it. Aunt Phoebe had a way of losing things. She lost everything, and not because she was necessarily forgetful.”
“She was always thinking about the water.” Jonah smiled.
Luna looked at him, noticing how much he looked like his father sometimes. “She would have adored you, Jonah.”
“She would have put me in her boat and taught me how to captain it by the time I was five.”
“Absolutely, just like our father.”
“Sometimes, I wonder what my dad was like. I wonder if he liked the water or not.”
“Probably. Everyone in the Caribbean liked water and being in it or on it.” Luna prayed her son wouldn’t press the issue. In the years since his birth, he’d questioned her many times about his father.
Sometimes his curious nature and eagerness to know his father would push her too far. Luna would cry off with a headache, hoping he’d forget for a time.
“You know, if I could choose who my father was, I kind of like that guy Ronan and Shaun, too. They’re so easygoing. Nothing seems to phase them, and they’re tough.”
Luna laughed. “You should have seen your grandfather.” Her sister's bracelet still dangling from her fingers, Luna pulled it onto her left wrist, its elastic stretching to fit her adult hand. “Well, I’m off to bed, Jonah. I suggest you do the same.”
Before Luna’s head hit her pillow, an idea slipped into her wandering thoughts. “That’s it! I’m going to get Ronan to help me get the boat charter business back up and running.”
The idea simmered in her head for a while as she slowly drifted off to sleep. Morning brought another rush of activity as Nicky showed up carrying two cups of latte. “Good morning, sunshine. I have a proposition for you since Ihatecleaning.”
She got comfortable on the bed, her heaviness causing Luna to roll over. “I guess one of those is for me?” Luna barely opened her eyes, tired from no sleep.
She forced herself to sit up. “Thank you.” Luna sipped the latte, savoring its sweet perfection. “I love you for this. That coffee downstairs is awful. I don’t know who bought it, but it’s lousy.”
Nicky flashed a smile. “I took Jonah to school, and Shaun called. He said Emma needs you and the macaroni and cheese at the restaurant by 10:30 a.m.”
Her eyes fell softly closed as the smooth, caffeinated liquid slid into her belly, waking her up. “Don’t tell me yet. I want to savor one more moment.” All was quiet. Then she peeked at Nicky, grinning. “You actually listened.”
Nicky was blowing on her nails. “Are you kidding? I know what it’s like to be woken up at the crack of dawn for no reason.Shaun does it regularly. He told me he was sending me to Spain to find a husband. Of course, I had to tell him they aren’t my type, so then he said Scotland. He said the only man who would want me is a Scot because he can keep me in line.”
