My gaze shot to my father, who was about to say something.
"Daddy, do you understand why I stay away?"
"Gina, stop." He held on to Mom's hand and kept his eyes on me. With his other hand, Daddy rubbed his forehead. "I haven't had a moment's peace with the two of you in years. We're family and this constant bickering is pointless. When everything goes wrong out there, this is where your hearts are, with family."
He propped his elbows on the table and ran both hands through his hair. "The two of you need to figure out where this animosity is coming from and deal with it."
For a few seconds Mom said nothing, then she asked, "This man, the one you brought home—"
"His name is Kofi."
"Kofi. What are you doing ... " She changed tack. "Where is your relationship going? Are you serious about him?"
The distaste on her face was comical, but I wasn't amused by it.
"What exactly do you have against Kofi except for his skin?"
"I don't have anything against him. Don't be stupid."
I included both of them in my next comment. "The two of you used to play a lot more golf than you do now. D'you remember what a blind shot is?"
Mom and Daddy frowned before nodding, but it was obvious that my question confused them. Then Daddy said, "Yes, it's making a shot when you can't see the target area."
"Well, for me, that's what Kofi has been. We both took a chance on each other and he has been the best thing that has happened to me in more than ten years."
"That's all well and good," Mom said, "but there's the disrespect. You came home and yet you're not here with us. We haven't seen you in months and—"
"If you had treated Kofi like a human being this visit would have gone differently but you're so wrapped up in trying to live my life for me, you can't even see anything but what you want. As if my life is yours to live."
She opened her hands and shook her head. "You're my only daughter Of course I'm concerned about you. I want only what's best for you."
I sighed and rubbed my forehead. "You can't live my life for me. Matter of fact, I can't trust you to make good decisions where I'm concerned so there's no way—"
"What d'you mean by that?" she asked, spreading one hand on her chest. Her voice got louder as she scowled. "What have I ever done to hurt you? I've done everything possible to make sure you have the best of everything and what do you do? Turn your back on your family and go off to do your own thing without even thinking about what Chase wants."
Shaking with fury, I pointed a finger at her. "Don't you dare use Chase as an excuse. He's doing exactly what he wants to do. Only God knows how Garth puts up with you trying to tell him how to manage his life."
With her face scrunched into a frown, Mom turned toward Daddy. "Roy, you see what I'm talking about?"
"This is not helping anything," my father said. "The two of you are only making things worse."
Staring at me, he continued, "Gina, this has to stop. I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to be honest with me."
I nodded right away because I wouldn't be anything else but forthright with my father.
"I want you to think about this for a second. The two of you are being unfair to the rest of us. What you're doing is forcing us to always be in the middle of your fussing and fighting. We are all we have." He took my mother's hand and reached for mine across the table. "Gina, why d'you continue to rebel against your mother?"
To Mom, he said, "Rose, I need you to think about why you continue to provoke Gina and demand so much from her."
He shushed her when she attempted to speak. "Honey, that’s exactly what you do. Stop being defensive and think about your actions."
My mother scowled and pinched her mouth into a pout as if she was being persecuted. I barely stopped myself from sucking my teeth.
I knew exactly what my problem was, but couldn't bring myself to speak of it in front of my father. Thinking about the thing that changed my life, almost cost my sanity, and robbed me of peace of mind for more than a decade used to be like ripping the scab off a wound that had healed only halfway. Every time I thought I was past it, some man's cologne would remind me of everything I wanted to forget.
In the next moment, it dawned on me that I was getting better. Thanks to Kofi. The thought of him made me smile. I couldn't wait to be with him, which was one of the things that told me he was right for me.
I let my gaze settle on my father. "If I tell you, you might have to murder someone and I don't want you to end up in jail for the rest of your life."
