Kofi sat up and moved me again, so we sat thigh to thigh. "That's not even funny."
"I'll be the judge of that," I said, still laughing.
"Anyway." Kofi rested his arm around my shoulder. "What is that about?"
"A girl is entitled to her secrets."
"Not when it is clear there's a certain something going on this guy doesn't understand."
I rubbed the back of my wrist against his beard. "D'you have to know everything?"
"No, I don't but if it has to do with you, I want to know about it." He waited another few beats, then kept going. "So, what is that about?"
He spoke directly in my ear, stirring my insides with the warmth of his breath and the husky note in his voice. "I think you should start at the beginning."
I stared at my hands, wondering where to begin. I didn't see how digging into the past would be useful, but Kofi ... he made me see things differently and I was tired of re-living certain things inside my head.
When I didn't make a move to start talking, Kofi put his hand over mine.
"Do you mind if I ask you what I want to know? Maybe that will make things easier on you."
I released my hair from the band holding it and pulled it together again, only tighter. "No, go ahead."
"When was the last time you were in a relationship?"
"A while back."
I didn't see him smile, but I was sure that was what Kofi was doing. "In terms of time, how long is a while?"
"Many months."
When I didn't say anything more, I felt him smiling again.
"Okay, so I had relationships but they weren't sexual in nature."
Kofi laughed. "That sounds like something from a court case or a documentary."
"Well, that's how it was."
What I didn't add was that when things got to the point where intimacy was the next step, I'd move on, usually with a flimsy excuse. For that reason, I'd stopped going out.
"What's been keeping you from being with someone?" He paused before adding, "With sex as part of the deal."
I looked at him, but didn't answer.
He shrugged. "It had to be something."
"Why d'you think so?"
He ran one finger down the back of my arm. "Your reaction when we make love. You want to be in control."
Smiling, I squeezed his leg. "And you allow me to be ... sometimes."
When I was at the point where I thought Kofi was satisfied, his low voice washed over me again. "You've discovered that you actually like sex."
Barely able to keep myself from grinning ear to ear, I said, "I won't deny that."
"And although you enjoy making love with me, it sometimes brings back bad memories."
