Brian laughs, taking the box and setting it aside, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his lap.
“Thank you,” I say quietly, laying my head on his shoulder and settling deeper into his hold. “For the presents, but also for knowing what I needed to hear. For giving me the words.”
He presses a kiss to the top of my head, and I sigh against him when his arms tighten around me. “I promise always to give you what you need. You’re not the only one who needed a home. At first, this was home because this is where my brother was, and then it was home because of the family he gave me when I didn’t have one of my own anymore. And now, this is home because this is where I found you, and where you’ll come back to. Where I’ll be waiting for you.”
“I like the idea of a home with you.”
“Me too, baby,” Brian says, his voice a little thick, his head resting against mine.
“Merry Christmas, Bry.”
Tipping my face towards him, he lays his lips on mine, and the kiss is a promise, full of unspoken words and hope for a future close enough to reach out and touch. “Merry Christmas, Liv.”
And when he runs his knuckles down my cheek, his whiskey eyes full of love, I am well and truly home.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
OLIVIA
“No!” I laugh, doing a final check of my carry-on before zipping the bag.
“It’s no big deal, Liv,” Brian says, spinning me around and wrapping his arms around my waist. “It’s just a plane ticket.”
I lean up and press a kiss to his jaw. “A plane ticket you won’t use.”
“I will use it. To go through security with you and hang at the gate until your flight.”
I put a hand on his cheek, stroking over his stubble with my thumb, loving the way it feels. Memorizing it for all the days I’ll be away. “There is nothing I want more than a little extra time with you. All the time with you, really. But buying a same day international plane ticket and going through security to sit with me in uncomfortable airport seats is really crazy. You know that, right?”
Brian sighs, pressing a kiss to my head. “In fact, I do know that. But I also know that I hate the idea of saying goodbyeto you at security. Of watching you walk away from me. The thought of that makes me feel like doing something crazy.”
Dropping my hand, I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his chest, breathing him in, the mixture of pine and spice and him that I can’t believe I have to spend six months without. I feel his arms tighten around me, one hand coming up to tangle in my hair, holding me against him, and I have to swallow hard to stop the tears that want to fall.
The week between Christmas and New Year’s went by fast. Too fast. Brian had to work, and I had a million last minute errands and packing to do, but otherwise we spent all our time together. We had dinners with my family and his, went ice skating again, and went to the holiday lights shows at Kennywood and the Pittsburgh Zoo. We spent our nights wrapped around each other and woke up together every morning. We kissed at midnight on New Year’s Eve and made whispered promises for the months of separation ahead. We packed a lifetime of fun into those seven days.
But now it’s time to say goodbye.
I glance around my bedroom in the apartment I’ve barely been in since the first night Brian and I were together. All of my things are here, but these walls aren’t home anymore.
Home means something different now.
“This whole day makes me feel like doing something crazy,” I say, my voice muffled by his chest. “Like saying fuck it and unpacking those suitcases and staying right here with you. Italy can wait.”
Easing back, Brian cups my face in his hands, leaning in to kiss my forehead and lingering there. “But you can’t, Liv. You can’t wait. This is your dream, and I would be a really shit boyfriend if I didn’t make you get on that plane. I’m so proud of you, baby. You’re amazing, and this trip is everything you’ve ever wanted. Go to Italy and do all the things. Cook and bake andexplore and meet interesting people and learn everything you can, and I’ll be waiting right here for you when you come back.”
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, anxiety twisting my stomach into knots as he says the same words he said on Christmas Eve, and somehow, I can’t stop myself from asking the same question. “Promise?”
He smiles, and I know he remembers that conversation too. “Always and forever.”
He bends to kiss me, his mouth warm on mine, his tongue slipping into my mouth to tease and taste. We kiss and kiss and kiss, mouths moving, hands roving, saying the words that are familiar and ones we haven’t spoken yet out loud. Words likepromiseandforeverandusandthisandmineandalways. Always. Always.
Words likeI love you.
They’re right there, waiting to be said, and yet we both hold back for reasons I don’t quite understand. Reasons I don’t want to think about right now, with a plane waiting to take me across an ocean and a big, ticking clock hanging above our heads.
“Shit,” Brian mutters when I rock my hips against him. He’s already hard again even though he fucked me in the shower half an hour ago. And in my living room before that. And in the kitchen. And in my bed first thing this morning before my eyes were even open. “I can’t get enough of you. But we don’t have time. Gabe and Molly will be here in twenty minutes.”
“I know,” I mumble against his lips. “But I can’t get enough of you either.”
