“The spirits know best what they are doing. If it is meant to be, it will be.”
It was later in the day before Bear Claw emerged from his teepee. Many had stopped by to see how he fared, passing the good news from one to another.
He went straight to where the mountain lion hide laid. While he had been unconscious, the hide had been removed from the carcass. It would take weeks of preparing and drying of the hide, but it would become a beautiful fur.
He caressed the skin, taking pride that he had brought the beast down and had survived. That very beast had killed men, both his kind and white devils.
“You continue to show that you are a powerful warrior,” Juh said. “You brought down a beast, the several of many.”
He had killed beasts that tormented his village and the environs, all since he was a young boy. This was just another spoils added to his trophy.
“I apologize my chief that we could not fight to keep the woman,” Juh said.
Bear Claw threw him a sharp look. His friend had never cared about her. He believed she did not belong here.
“The village comes first,” Bear Claw said. In everything he did, the village would come first.
“We will find you another woman,” Juh clapped him on the back. A cheer of agreement went up amongst the other men. Bear Claw smiled weakly, he did not want any other woman, he wanted Hannah.
Many called out to him as he made his way through the village. He waved to them with smiles. As much as he wished he had fought for her, the lives of his people would have been risk, because they would return to destroy their peace and calm.
He would rather let his heart go, then cause the deaths of thousands of his people. He would learn to mend the hurt and his heart, but the loss of people was something he would never recover from, and which he would continue to feel responsible for.
The head of the mountain lion sat on a stake, at the front gates, as if announcing itself as a prize. However, there was one person he would like to celebrate with.
With his arm, Bear Claw could not go for a horse ride. Or to go hunting. Instead, he went to the children. They looked cheerful and repeatedly asked for Hannah. He smiled sadly at then. It seemed everywhere he turned to, he was reminded of Hannah. Would he ever stop thinking about her? His existence seemed to be loss with her no longer in his life. In a few days, they would join the rest of the village. Thank the spirits, but no one had fallen ill, child or adult. It was not a good time for the village to have an epidemic. There never would be a good time, he corrected.
That night the men and women celebrated. They celebrated his survival from the beast. They sang his praises by the fire, but although his body was there, his heart was with another.
The party progressed into the night. He did not drink, but he ate for sustenance. He excused himself and went to his teepee. He was startled for a moment as he saw Hannah lying there. He saw her naked body as he thrust into her. He heard her moans fill the room as her fingers dug into him. The room felt hot, he hurried outside and ran into Anika, who was startled.
“Sachem,” she smiled at him. His eyes raked all over her surplus body. To any other man, it was tempting, but to him he had no interest. One would think after Hannah, he would dine and wine with the woman. But she had ruined him for all women to come. It would take him moons before he laid with another woman.
“Go away,” Bear Claw said. He was not in the mood for her drama.
“I am glad that you are alive,” she said.
So was he. Another opportunity to live empty he supposed.
“I offer myself to you. Now that the white devil is gone, you have all of me. I will give you everything you want,” Anika said.
He sighed. He was tired of this back and forth with her. He held her shoulders firmly and she looked up to him expectantly.
“You will always be like a little sister to me. Whatever you want I cannot give you. Look around and take another man for yourself. I do not care for you the way you want. And I will never care for you. She might be gone but I will always love her. And I will never be with you.”
She flinched at his harsh words, but they needed to be told so that she would stop dreaming of him.
He moved past her. He knew what she offered, a night of tumbling in his fur. It was a great offer, to take his mind off Hannah, but it would only last a few minutes and he would be consumed with regrets. He walked and walked, until he sat by the river. The night was quiet, the party had stopped, with many in bed or fucking.
He felt so alone. All his life, he had lived to serve. And then Hannah had come into his life. She had showed him what love meant. She had made him want to protect her at every moment. And now he was alone.
He could not remember the last time he had cried. But in that moment, tears welled in his eyes.
He screamed loudly, into the night. A loud scream that carried over the village, and into the sky, startling the birds. Tears rolled down his eyes as he prayed to the gods to take the burden he felt away.
*
The horse led her home. As crazy as it was to say, the horse had taken charge as if pulled by some force, and had led her right home. One instance she had been soothing the horse, and the next several men gathered around her. Despite recognizing her, they looked at her with suspicion.
