I stiffen, my gaze snapping at the doorway, but he must be outside it since I can’t see him. “Yeah?” I call out.
“I don’t want to bother you, but I wanted to tell you there are clothes for you in the dresser out here. I know it’s probably a bit weird to wear them, but I also thought you might want to wear something else besides what you had on,” He sounds strangely unsettled for Finn, who’s typically confident.
But I guess, considering the situation, it makes sense.
“Okay, yeah, I’d like to put something else on.” I shut off the water.
“All right. I’ll go into the closet while you get dressed,” he replies, putting me at ease.
Well, with him anyway. Nothing could calm me in this situation.
Once I get out of the shower, I wrap a towel around me and make my way into the room. I find the clothes he’s talking about in the top dresser drawer, and I pull out a pair of baggy sweats, a fitted grey shirt, panties, and a bra. I dry my hair off, then get dressed before sitting down on the edge of the bed.
“You can come out,” I inform Finn as I crisscross my legs.
As he exits the closet, his eyes instantly finding me and sweeping over my body, as if searching for wounds.
“Are you okay?” he asks as he cautiously approaches the bed.
I dither. “I’m as okay as I can be in this situation. How about you?”
“I’m fine,” he replies dismissively as he stands in front of me. “I’m more worried about you.”
I haven’t known him for very long, but what I have learned about him over our month-long friendship is that Finn plays off his emotions pretty well.
I push to my feet. “Don’t do that.”
His head tilts to the side. “Don’t do what?”
“Fake being okay. We’ve been through a lot and will probably still go through a lot, and if we want to make it out of here, we need to be honest with each other. So, let me ask again, how are you feeling?”
His throat muscle bobs as he swallows. “I feel like shit,” he confesses, staring at the floor. “I feel angry. I feel helpless. But most of all, I feel like a real piece of shit.”
“Why do you feel like a piece of shit?” I ask. “Your dad should, but not you.”
His eyes meld with mine. “I raped you, Maddy. I did that. Not my father.”
“You did not,” I snap, rather harshly. But I don’t want him thinking that. “Your dad forced both of us to do that. We both made a choice. You didn’t force me.” Unsure how either of us will react, I raise my hand and place my palm against his cheek.
His gaze never strays from mine, but his jawline tightens. “What’re you doing, Maddison?”
“Showing you that I’m not afraid of you or upset.” I arch my brows. “But since you just used my full first name, I’m wondering if you’re upset with me.”
“I’m not upset with you,” he utters softly, his gaze briefly flitting to my lips.
I recall what he said right before he kissed me, how he liked me from the moment he saw me, but never made a move because of River. Does he still feel that? Does it even matter?
I don’t know…
With an exasperated sigh, he steps away from me and puts space between us. “I’m upset with myself. I shouldn’t have agreed to my father’s demands. I should’ve found a way.” He looks away from me. “River would have.”
“No, he wouldn’t have,” I disagree. “He would’ve done the same thing to you because he wouldn’t have let Noah die, and I wouldn’t have either. But River wouldn’t have had a pity party right now.” I’m not entirely certain that’s true.
River would’ve felt just as guilty.
Finn throws me an incredulous look, confirming my suspicions.
“Look,” I say before he can dwell on this even more. “We have two options here. We can sit here and feel sorry for ourselves, or we can figure out a way to get the hell out of this place. Wherever the hell we are.” Spotting a curtain, I walk over and pull it aside.
