Her entire face crumbles. “Oh.”
I reduce the space between us in a few long steps. “I’m so sorry that this happened.” I carry her gaze. “I don’t… I wish there were another way around this. I know you like my brother. I know this is so fucked up. But Maddy, I feel like I need to say this in the hope that maybe it’ll help. Maybe it won’t, though. I don’t know…” I start to lose my courage and end up biting back the words I was about to confess.
“What is it?” she hedges, her eyes searching mine. “Just tell me. It’s not like things can get any worse.”
“We could be dead,” I point out, but then sigh. “Sorry, that was a pretty depressing thing to say.”
“It’s fine. It’s the truth, so…” She lifts a shoulder and offers me a miserable look. “Just tell me, please.”
Chewing on my bottom lip, I tentatively reach out and touch my palm to her cheek. Her brows furrow as I skim the pad of my thumb along her cheekbone.
“I’ve liked you since the first time I laid eyes on you,” I confess quietly. “But you fell for my brother, and I’m going to be honest, it sucked, because I knew I could never, ever go there with you, not when River had never liked anyone until you came along. I was worried he’d never be with anyone he cared about, but then he fell for you, and I was so happy for him. But I also kind of hated it because I liked you… Still do.”
“Finn,” she starts to say with hesitancy.
“You don’t have to say anything,” I tell her. “I’m just telling you this so that you know that I like you. Maybe it might help a little with this. Maybe not. But I thought I would offer it.” When she says nothing, I start to lower my hand. “Fuck, did I make it worse?”
She hastily captures my hand and then holds my palm against her cheek. “You didn’t make it worse. I just… Was tryingto process what you said because I didn’t think you liked me like that.”
I arch my brow. “I flirted with you all the time.”
“Yeah, but you flirt with everyone,” she reminds me with a trace of an amused smile.
If she’s smiling, I must’ve helped her relax a little.
But then my stupid father has to ruin any drop of ease I managed to put in the air as an intercom clicks on.
“Stop being ridiculous and get on with this,” he warns. “You have twenty minutes to get this done. If you’re not. I’ll have my sniper pull the trigger.”
I glance at the television screen that shows Noah and River talking in the waiting room at the Royal City Hospital. They’re talking intensely, and River is clutching his phone. I have no idea what’s going on, if Lily is okay, since I’m assuming she’s the reason they’re at the hospital.
I shift my gaze back to Maddy, and a look of understanding passes between us. I’m about to kiss her when she cups the back of my head and pulls my lips to hers.
CHAPTER 12
MADDISON
I thought walkingaround on the streets of northside at night was the most dangerous thing I’d ever have to be in. Never did I believe going to the Royal Academy would be what shattered my life.
But it did. If I could go back, I may not have accepted that scholarship. I doubt that would’ve stopped this from happening. No, regardless of how this went down, Everford blood runs through my veins, and that’s the most dangerous thing I’ll face.
I wish Elli had told me, though. At least I could’ve been prepared for this.
At least it’s happening with Finn, though, instead of a random stranger, or worse, Eli.
This is the second time I’ve kissed Finn, and what I notice is that he kisses like he flirts, intense and playful, which sounds odd considering the situation we’re in. But that’s the only way I can describe the way his tongue teases mine before sweeping in deeply, where he steals a taste, then pulls back and bites my lip.
I groan, and he does it again as he starts to back me across the room with his hands on my waist. Part of me dissociates, just like I used to do when I was a kid and my parents would beatme, or put me in a situation no child should ever have to be in. I know how to get through these moments, and I loathe that I do.
The strange part—well, one of the strange parts—is that if Finn had made a move on me first before River ever did, I think I would’ve eventually fallen for him. He just has that way about him. I’m not sure where it would’ve gone since he isn’t the dating type. And now he is married to me.
Oh my god…
I’m married….
For a horrifying moment, that reality seeps through the wall I put around my mind to protect me from having a panic attack.
Finn immediately senses my tension and pulls back. “Do you need a minute?” he asks worriedly.
