“You are so beautiful.” Dak reaches out and plays with a strand of my hair. “I’ve never seen you wear your hair down like this. It’s usually in a ponytail.”
“We match.” I smile, referring to his hair, which is also loose today. “Why don’t you tell me a little more about what you want to change between you and…”
“Jana.”
A small possessive part of me rumbles at the mention of her name for the first time. He’s never said it before, only referring to her as Bella’s mother. The rational part of me knows they didn’t share any sort of great love affair, but she is the mother of his only child and that is a connection I can never compete with. Is it irrational of me to wonder if he still has any leftover feelings for a woman he once had a relationship with? Whom he has a child with?
“I don’t want to kick-start a war with her, you know? But something... something needs to shift.” The words hang in the air for a moment, lingering before he exhales them out completely. “As much as it guts me, I think we might have to formalize a custody agreement. I’m not some cliche deadbeat dad or one of those guys who pays child support but has nothing to do with the kid.”
“No, you’re not.”
“I love my daughter and I don’t want her growing up thinking that I was some kind of self-absorbed football player who didn’t fight for her.”
“I don’t think she could ever think that, but tell me what has made you pursue this course of action now?” I ask him, not as a challenge, but as a genuine invitation to explore his feelings further.
“Jana has held the reins of our relationship since the beginning,” he confesses, his voice a mixture of sadness and resolve. “This dynamic... it’s not healthy. Not for either of us, and certainly not for Bella. And I think legal action might be the only way to ensure that we’re both held accountable, and that Bella has a secure future. Honestly, I should have done it a long time ago.”
There’s a silence between us for a moment. The kind of odd silence you only find in one of the largest city parks in the nation. There are trees rustling, birds chirping, and dozens of other humans walking or exercising around us, but I only see Dak. A man who desperately wants a life he can be proud of and to keep the most important person in his life happy. It really speaks to his character. And if the NFL asked me for my recommendation today, I’d give a glowing review. He’s not skipping the line but actually doing the work.
“Legal action might seem daunting at first, but if it leads to a healthier dynamic between you and Jana, then I agree it could be the best course of action. Especially for your daughter’s sake.”
As we lay in the park, we delve deeper into Dak’s options, dissecting what each step might entail. I talk about resources - family lawyers, support groups, books that could help navigate through the complexity of it all. He talks about Jana’s fiancé, as well as his parents, and his teammate Dutch, who is also invested in a favorable visitation outcome for Dak.
“Let’s consider potential outcomes,” I suggest, his eyes never leaving mine. “Both good and bad. That way, you’re well prepared to make a decision that’s best for everyone.”
We discuss. We theorize. We ponder.
We drink our lattes and nibble on our croissants.
We kiss.
Then we continue talking about football and how much the sport defines who he is based on a self belief that it’s all he’s ever been good at. I dare him to challenge that viewpoint and suggest that there are probably lots of things he’s good at.
I already know of a few others.
***
I’m sitting peacefully at the small desk in my bedroom, performing my skincare routine when I see that my sister is requesting a FaceTime call.
“Hey, Pat.”
“You’ve got time for skincare? Must be nice.”
“I don’t have a six-year-old son who is bouncing off the walls because he probably already had a bowl of Captain Crunch for breakfast. Plus, I already took Butters out to pee and my first client doesn’t come in until eleven.”
She makes a face signifying that she’s kind of impressed, but she doesn’t want to say that.
Typical Pat.
“What’s that serum you’re using?”
“It’s a Vitamin C blend. It’s supposed to be good for hyperpigmentation,” I tell her as I focus on the application of a little extra serum on my problem areas.
“I told you the key to that is sunscreen.”
“I know, Pat. I have some right here.” I show her my brand new tube ofSupergoopsunscreen.
“Oh, well, did you ever end up reaching out to Aaron’s family? You seem like you’re in a good place now.”
