We hug anyway.
It feels forced and stiff and I can’t wait to release myself from it.
Both Jana and I plaster on our pretend smiles and say our goodbyes. After she leaves, the first thing Bella asks me for makes me laugh.
She sounds just like me.
“Daddy, I’ve got a taste for something.”
“Me too. What should we eat?”
“Peanut butter and jelly?”
“Hmm, is that on the list?” I pretend not to know if she’s allergic to peanut butter.
“Nope! My friend Carson is allergic to peanut butter, but I’m not.”
“How do you know?”
“Teacher Kendra told us. No peanut treats at school or Carson could get hurt.”
“Well, one peanut butter and jelly coming up. Why don’t you grab one of the jigsaw puzzles from your room and bring it out here while I make it, okay?”
“I’ve got new puzzles?” she says excitedly.
“Yep!”
Bella loves puzzles and there’s no way in hell she’s going to go home at the end of the weekend and tell her mother that all she did was watch Disney movies, so I buy her new ones every time she comes to visit.
“You’re the best, Daddy.”
My heart swells inside of my chest from those simple four words and the first genuine smile I’ve had all week forms on my face. That is until I get an incoming text from a contact saved asWell Minds Therapyin my phone.
Appointment reminder.
Monday, 10am with Katrina Banks.
Please respond with a Y or N to confirm your appointment.
I really want to press N.
Fuck, I want to send N.
Then a very excited Bella runs out with a Disney Princess themed jigsaw puzzle box in her hands.
“I’m ready, Daddy!”
And the reason why I need to press Y suddenly comes crashing down around me.
So I grit my teeth and press Y.
Then hit send.
katrina
I tripover my own feet as I quickly exit from the elevator into the reception lobby.
“You went to Full Metal Tacos, didn’t you?” Fatima grins.
