“What does the time of year have to do with anything? People exercise outside all year round.”
“So you’re still trying to stick to the whole New Year’s resolution thing?”
“It’s an intention, not a resolution, and don’t come for me because you weren’t able to keep your no smoking resolution for more than two days. I’m determined to lose this last fifteen pounds before you walk down the aisle, and you could stand to lose a few yourself, or do you want to stand at the altar with a beer belly?”
My brother is getting married in a few weeks to his longtime girlfriend, Dena, and I’m standing up with him. Ever since he asked me, I’ve been super excited but I’m also obsessed with how little time I have to lose these thunder thighs of mine.
“Relax, sensitive Sally. You sound just like Mommy.”
“Don’t say that!”
“I’m all for being healthy, but don’t let that asshole get into your head, Kay.”
The asshole my brother is referring to is my boyfriend, Elijah. My brother doesn’t like him.
“He’s not in my head,” I assure my brother.
“He tells you you’re fat all the time. How can that not affect how you feel about yourself?”
“He doesn’t tell me I’m fat. You’re just making things up because you don’t like him, just like you’ve never liked any guy I’ve been with. No one is good enough for you.”
“There are plenty of men out there who are good for you. He’s just not one of them. Do I have to remind you about all that back and forth you went through with him about making you get off birth control pills because you were gaining weight? That’s a pretty clear-cut message to me. He was saying you were fat, which you aren’t, by the way.”
“That’s not how I interpreted it.”
“Is that right, baby sis’? Then why are you outside doing the exercise you hate the most in the freezing ass cold?”
“What do you really want, Kyle?” I ask annoyed with the conversation and so ready to change the subject. “I’m busy.”
“You know that I love you, right?”
“Okay, now I’m worried. Did someone die?”
“I talked to Brick today.”
I feel something sharp twist in the pit of my stomach when my brother mentions his name.
I haven’t heard it in a while.
“And you’re telling me because?”
“Because his schedule has suddenly freed up.”
Oh no.
“Wait, a ding dang minute. Are you kicking me out of the wedding and putting him in my place?”
“Absolutely not.”
“I don’t understand. A groom only has one best man, Kyle.”
“The bride can have a maid and a matron of honor, so why can’t I have two people standing up for me too?”
“Dena doesn’t have a matron of honor, only a maid of honor.”
“You know what I mean. I’m saying it wouldn’t be unheard of to have two people stand up for me.”
“So let me get this straight. You don’t hear from that jerk for months at a time yet you still ask him to be a part of your wedding? Then, he doesn’t give you a definitive answer about it for months, but calls you at the eleventh hour to tell you he’s going to do it?”
