God, it hurts. I miss him so much. More than I believed I ever would.
“Christmas is kind of sacred at my house. It used to be my Nana’s favorite holiday. I have to go home and spend it with my mom.”
“Oh, okay.”
We sit quietly for a moment until Marta speaks again.
“What’s it like to date one of the most popular guys at the university?”
“He’s more than just popular,” I say because I find that most people tend to minimize Freak into this one-dimensional character.
“Oh, I’m sure.”
“He’s really very smart and so funny.”
“You’re definitely lucky. He sounds amazing. It’s nice to hear about a college romance that’s actually working.”
It’s time to change the subject because I don’t want to disappoint her distorted idea of us.
Or maybe I am tired of facing the truth.
“I meant to email y’all about the last study session. I’m sorry I was a no show. I’ll do better after Christmas.”
“The last one?”
“Yeah.”
“We didn’t have a study session. We haven’t even talked in our group chat in about two weeks.”
“You haven’t? Why?”
Marta gives me an odd look.
“It’s your study group, Willow, so when you don’t show up for it neither does anyone else.”
Her words drench me like a cold glass of ice water.
“I’m… sorry. I thought you all would go on without me.”
“I guess not.”
I quietly watch as Marta swings her feet back and forth on the bench and for the first time since I’ve approached her, wonder why she’s sitting here by herself.
That’s when I realize that I don’t know Marta that well. All we’ve ever done is talk about nursing. I didn’t even remember she was from the west coast. Maybe that’s why the group couldn’t meet without me. Outside of my intense focus on us passing the licensure exam, there was nothing else holding them together.
“What do you do for fun, Marta?”
“For fun?”
“Yeah.”
“Um, well, I like music.”
“Oh, me too. I love 90’s music. What’s your favorite genre?”
“I’m from Guatemala and I grew up on a lot of Latin music. My favorite is bachata music.”
“I’ve always wanted to go salsa dancing, but was too afraid to go to a club by myself. I mean, what girl goes to a club by herself, right?”
