I know she doesn’t mean it in a negative way, but my mother’s comment makes me feel worse than I did ten minutes ago. I’m embarrassed. I hate that this looks like I’m the “old Knox” to her. It just seems like with every step forward I take in my life, I end up taking two steps back.
“Maybe I should go back to Miami,” I say wanting nothing more than to bury my head in the sand.
“I want to tell you something before you talk to your uncle.”
I look intently at my mom who I believe is one of the smartest women to ever live but maybe I'm biased.
“We never told you this story, but did you know that your Grandpa Joe didn’t want your father and me together? Neither did your other grandfather, for that matter.”
“But Grandpa Joe adores you.”
“Yes, but your Grandma Juliette is my blood relative. She is my aunt. I called your grandfather Uncle Joe for most of my life, and only dropped the “uncle” when you boys were old enough to understand. It would have been confusing for you to hear me call your grandfather, Uncle Joe.”
“So… you and Dad are like cousins?”
“We aren’t related by blood and we didn’t see each other much growing up, but the family still considered us kin. It’s kind of a similar thing between you and Gigi. We raised you two to be close and while we always knew there could have been a “slight” chance that you could be attracted to each other, we never gave it any serious consideration.”
“So are you telling me this story because you want me to apologize to Uncle Cam and forget how I feel about Gigi?”
“No, Knox, I want you to understand that if I had listened to all the people in our lives who didn’t want me and your father together that there’d be no you or Bronx or Seven and you three boys are our world. We followed our hearts and you and Gigi are going to have to follow yours.”
“But are you one of those people who don’t want us together, Ma?”
Although I gave her hell growing up, I value my mother’s opinion and have always wanted her approval. I really want to know how she feels about me having a future with Gigi.
“I don’t think anyone is saying that we don’t want you together. Maybe your aunt and uncle’s feelings are a little hurt that they were the last to know about you two, but they couldn’t wish for a better man in Gigi’s life than you. Deep down they know that. I raised one hell of a man.” She smiles.
“I guess.”
My mother looks up at me with that serious mom face.
“Uh-uh, you don’t guess, you better be sure. If you love that girl, you walk into that room and be sure about what you’re saying. You hear me?”
“Yes, Ma.”
“Good, because I didn’t raise you to be frackin’ wishy-washy.”
“Yes, Ma.”
Mom presses her face to the window.
“He’s here and if you need a gun to defend yourself, there’s a loaded one in the cabinet in the library.” She smirks.
“That’s not funny, Mom.”
“Too soon?”
“Way too soon.”
***
My Uncle Camden has always been a formidable presence in my life and even though they call my grandfather “mean ole’ Joe”, I have always been more intimidated by Uncle Cam than any other man in our family.
I walk downstairs to the library like I’m marching toward a death squad. My father is in his office working on a deal and can’t be bothered to mediate this, so it’s just on me.
I walk in the room but wait for my uncle to choose where he’s going to sit first out of respect. He sits at my mom’s favorite mahogany wood desk and I take a seat in one of the club chairs across the room.
“This is a long time coming,” Uncle Camden says.
