The answer is hell yes.
Knox ends the kiss prematurely and stares at me with a grin that I can feel all the way down to my aching clit.
“Nothing is going to happen to me, Queenie. Who the hell would take care of you if it did? Remember, that God takes care of babies and fools so the two of us are high on his priority list.”
“And which one of us is the fool?”
“Put on some jeans after your shower.” He smirks and taps me lightly on the butt.
“For what? I’m going to sleep and forget this day ever happened.”
“You want to forget that kiss?”
“No.” My eyes drop as the blood rushes to my cheeks. “Just the stuff with Ben…or Jake.”
“I’ll make you forget. Be ready when I get back.”
“Ready for what?”
“We’re going for a ride.”
“You know I hate that truck.”
“We’re taking the bike this time.”
Knox signals the end of the conversation by simply walking out and closing the door behind him. In less than five minutes, he’s dressed and out the door, headed to do something I wish he wouldn’t–find Ben.
In the shower, I lean against the smooth white tiles and try processing what just happened. Knox Masterson kissed me hard and well, and if he had tried even just a little bit, I would have let him take me right on the bathroom counter.
God definitely looks out for babies and fools because that would have obviously been a huge mistake. When I eventually give myself to someone, it has to be a man who is consistent, truthful, respectful, and safe. All I feel right now is anxious, insecure, and worried.
When he gets back, I’m going to have to find a way to convince him that this arrangement isn’t working. There has to be another way that he can keep me safe without us almost making a huge mistake like we just did.
There has to be a better way.
Or else I’m going to be in way more serious trouble with that man around.
Knox is the real threat.
Fifteen
Gigi
* * *
It feels a bit odd as I slick a mauve coat of my Fenty lip paint across my lips and stare at the woman in the mirror. Who is she?
You’re a woman who’s just been thoroughly kissed by a guy who you’ve claimed to have hated for half of your life.
In other words, I’m a fraud.
And over the last hour, I’ve decided not to kick Knox out just yet because I’m curious. I want to ride with him on his bike just once to see how it will feel, if I can ever get dressed. It's taking me over thirty minutes to decide whether or not to wear a bra. Like most women, I hate them. They cut into the sides of my boobs and pinch my back, but I’m going to be riding on the back of Knox’s bike for who knows how long, and after the way my body responded to what happened between us earlier should my bare nipples really be pressed against those powerful trapezoid muscles?
Maybe I need to get out of my head. I’m overthinking this whole thing as if it’s some sort of date. It’s not. We had one kiss because I was super emotional about what happened with Ben. Knox doesn’t want me. I’m like a little sister to him. Plus we’re like oil and water. We simply don’t mix.
All of this overthinking prompts me to call Matthew. I decide to put aside the fact that he hasn’t called me in days and reach out to him. At best, I can figure out why he’s giving me the cold shoulder and at worst I’ll get the closure that I need to move on from him. To my surprise, he picks up on the first ring.
“Hello?”
