“They work for a week or two and then a part breaks and they’re offline for another few weeks. It happens all the time.”
“You never told me that shit.”
“I don’t tell you everything, Rush.”
“Well, maybe you should start telling me everything. What do you do when the elevators aren’t working?”
“Obviously, I walk up the stairs.”
“You walk up five flights of stairs with that knee?”
“Yes.”
He stands up and takes several heavy strides toward me, then stops.
For a split second, I’m frightened, but not because I think Rush would ever lay his hands on me, but because he’s so emotional about this. About my life. He really cares about me in a way that no one ever has. Even my own mother.
It almost feels like love.
“Rush.”
I place my palm on his chest and feel nothing but solid muscle and warm skin that shivers underneath my touch.
His eyes hold mine perfectly still.
“Why won’t you let me help you, Bird?”
His voice croaks when he speaks, and he sounds like he is in actual physical pain. It’s frightening to me that I have the power to make him feel this upset.
I lift myself on my toes and kiss him softly on the cheek because something inside of me compels me to. In response, he leans his body into mine and kisses me gingerly on the lips, then stares at me with fiery eyes that want more from me in this moment than I can give.
“I’m going to sue them, Rush.”
“With what money?” he responds in a much calmer voice now.
“Maybe someone will take the case pro bono. It’s totally winnable. Landlords shouldn’t treat people like this.”
I try to move back and give us both some space, but he won’t let me. He wraps one of his arms loosely around my waist and holds me still in front of him.
“Are we friends?”
“Of course we are.”
“Then can you tell me the truth for once? The whole truth.”
“I admit I haven’t always told you everything, but when I do tell you something I always tell you the truth. I’ve never lied to you and I never will.”
“Then answer this question. Are you late on all of your bills right now? Are you in trouble, Mia?”
I consider what exact words I’m going to use to answer this in a way that Rush will understand. Once upon a time we were both college students on full-ride scholarships to a prestigious university. We’ve grown up together, sharing a lot of personal highs and lows with each other. Now we’re like two completely different people who tragically don’t live in the same world any longer. I don’t want to be the girl in his life that he has to fix.
The friend he pities.
The dead weight.
The woman he has to save over and over.
I cannot be that girl.
