"Well there you go. There are too many distractions for the poor guy. I know the feeling well. You're going to have to figure out how to get some one-on-one time with Mr. Clueless."
I squint my eyes. "Are you positive you don't have a twin brother?"
"No," he chuckles. "Do you still see two of me?"
He waves his hand directly in front of my face.
"Yes," I say emphatically. "And you both have identical black eyes."
"Drink more water. When the good Lord made me, he broke the mold. So I guarantee that you should only be seeing one of me as well as one black eye courtesy of my brother over there."
I take another big gulp of my water.
"Why should I take your dating advice anyway? You just got dumped."
"The reason why you should take advice from me is because it works. It's how my bitch of an ex snagged me. She made sure to get my attention first, and then went in for the kill."
"Why did she dump you?"
"I have no idea."
"You should go after her."
"I started to, but then I changed my mind."
"If you loved her, you would have gone after her."
"Love shouldn't take that much work, Freshman."
"Maybe you weren't romantic enough. Women love romance."
"Who needs romance when she hasthisto wake up to every morning."
"The two of you think very highly of yourselves."
"Still seeing double huh," he snickers. "I think you better call it a night, Freshman."
"I was on my way to the seventh floor. I don't want to just go to bed without saying something to him. I ran out of the room like a complete moron today."
"Can I be honest with you?"
"You mean you weren't honest before?"
"Men are dumb, but we ain't stupid. Trust me when I say that he knows exactly who you are already, and if he were the least bit interested he'd have his eyes on you right now. He'd be in this bar right now. The fact that he isn't here tells me that he's not the guy for you."
"He should be chasing me but you shouldn't be chasing your fiancée?"
"Exactly."
"I think you're wrong. He's the perfect guy for me."
"There's no such thing, Freshman. My parents come damn near close to the perfect couple, and they still have their issues. There is no perfect guy. Only the right guy."
His words are starting to fade, as I try to keep my eyes open. I am ten seconds away from sprawling out on this floor and catching a nap.
"I'msoooosleepy."
"What room are you in?"
