“Do you feel better now that at least you’ve gotten some of that pain off your chest?”
“I do.”
We both listen to the sounds of each other breathing.
“Adrienne.”
“Yes?”
“You know my name. You know what I do for a living. You learned what I’m passionate about and the people I advocate for. You know I adored my mother and have complicated feelings for my father. You know I have a little sister who likes public television and could teach a manners course to her entire Kindergarten class. You know I don’t like to take no for an answer. So I’m asking, is there anything else that you want or need to know?”
“What you want from me.”
“A. Third. Fucking. Date.”
There is complete silence between us. I don’t know if I’ve pissed her off or if she fell asleep, but I wait. The ball is in her court. I’ve put it all out there. I know I fucked up, but I know I can do better. I just need her to give me the chance and if she does… then I’ve got it from there.
“When?”
YESSS!
“Christmas Eve. It’s on a Thursday this year and we’re going to start early, so I’ll pick you up at four.”
“I’ll see you then.”
“Dream about me tonight.”
“Now you’re pushing it,” she chuckles.
When we hang up, I can’t stop grinning. I’m not even hungry anymore. I just slide into the cool white sheets of my King sized bed and dream about the best pussy I’ve ever tasted.
Adrienne’s.
Needless to say, I get some of the best sleep of my life.
Thirty-Six
ADRIENNE
I’ve learnedsome things about myself over the last few weeks and it hasn’t been pretty. Are you ready to hear it? All I’ve done in the last four years is spend useless energy on the two sorry men I was involved with or study medicine.
That’s it.
That’s all.
The revelation came to me as I was filling out a profile for an online networking group (for Mercy West residents, of course). There was a section specifically for filling out my interests and hobbies, and I stared at the blank text box for ten minutes because I was stuck. I couldn’t think of one thing interesting to list because I do nothing besides study or practice medicine.
It sounds like a very simple realization about oneself, but it was truly a profound moment for me.
I am one dimensional.
Boring.
Safe.
I am not taking the blame for Troy’s vile behavior, but if I’m going to be truly honest with myself, then I’m kind of rethinking everything about that relationship. Perhaps he cheated on me and I completely missed it because our relationship was void of any real depth. We had only scratched the surface of each other, never peeling back any layers.
But things are going to be different from now on. I’m committed to broadening my horizons and expanding my reach. I want to know a little about a lot of things instead of my usual deep dive into one subject. I want to figure out who I am without the stethoscope. Who did Adrienne used to be before she settled with defining herself as the monolithic creature completely oblivious of the expansive world around her?
