“Which is ridiculous. How could that article say I’m the reason why he got hurt? We didn’t even know each other then.”
“Exactly, which proves my point. They’ve been gunning for him long before he ever met you. Your aunt said that the entire city wants someone named Rivera to play and never wanted him here. That must have been really hard, to move to a place where nobody wants you.”
Now she’s making my pancakes taste funny. They feel like little boulders sliding down my throat and settling hard into my stomach.
“Do you and Aunt Lorraine talk about everything?” I whine.
“Not everything.”
“Mom, the bottom line is he lied to me and I just can’t do it all over again. I just got out of a relationship with a liar. I’d be stupid to start anything with him.”
“Sounds like it’s already started.”
“Nothing real has started. I was basically getting to know a complete stranger.”
“Or maybe you were getting to know the actual person. The person he is without football. Maybe that’s who he wanted you to meet.”
“But being a football player is a huge part of who he is, so in my opinion, I don’t know him at all.”
I lay down my fork.
“This conversation is ruining my pancake breakfast.”
“The trouble with him seems to bother you way more than the end of your engagement did.”
“Why would you think that?” I respond incredulously.
“Because if my engagement to your father ended, I would have been under the bed for a month. You seemed to have shaken yours off and moved on pretty quickly.”
I take another struggle bite of my pancakes and shrug my shoulders.
“I can’t grieve for something that didn’t exist.”
“And what about your quarterback, are you grieving over him?”
I feel a squeeze in my chest.
“No.”
“Mmm, ok.
I know what that means. My mother is not buying what I’m saying for one second, but I’m a firm believer that you can speak whatever you want into existence if you say it enough.
I do not miss JasonJett Caraway.
I do not miss Jason.
I do not miss him.
Fuck.
Thirty-One
ADRIENNE
When Dena walksinto my house, she immediately scrunches up her nose.
“Your house smells like the floral palace on Elm Street.”
