This is a collect call from the Philadelphia Police Department Central Booking. Will you accept the charges?
"Yes. Hello?"
I've never been so happy to hear my father's voice in my life.
"Dad!"
"BABY GIRL!"
My father bursts into a fit of coughing. I can hear that his flu is progressing. He needs fluids, some Motrin, a pot of my chicken soup, and some sleep. I regret that I couldn't talk him out of driving upstate to pick up our new house guest, but there was no changing his mind.
"Dad...I can't hog the phone, so let me explain what's going on. One of the taillights of my car is out. I didn't know. I was pulled over and then arrested, because my license is expired."
"That's ridiculous. I never heard of someone being arrested for a paperwork problem."
"I know, Dad, but there's some sort of new quality of life laws on the books. That's what they're calling them. I have to see the judge before I can get out of here."
"I'm coming down there."
"No, Daddy, please. You sound awful. I don't want you running around in this damp weather with a fever. Plus, there's nothing you can do. Glitter told me that the longest part of this whole ordeal is that they have to run my fingerprints through the system in Harrisburg, and that it's going to take a long time because I don't have a record. But once that's done I'll see the judge and be released."
"Who the heck is Glitter?"
"One of my cell mates."
"Is she a whore?!"
"Shhh...yes, Dad."
*Silence*
"Flu or no flu, I'll be there in under twenty minutes."
* * *
