The verse that had come to her earlier returned.The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away.
“As much as I adore Leo and Charlie, they’re both rightfully yours and I honestly wish that you could’ve lived out your life with them.” The words emerged so quietly they barely reached Maddie’s own ears. “I feel guilty for liking Leo as much as I do and wanting to be with them as much as I do. If you were here,I’d ask for your permission. But if you were here, this situation wouldn’t exist.”
The drifting wind made the only reply.
Maddie closed her eyes.God, forgive me if I’ve ever felt wrongly toward Leo, if I’ve acted wrongly, if I’ve ever said anything that was wrong in your sight. I’m not sure how to reconcile dating Leo with honoring Olivia.
This time, she did receive an answer.
She sensed, in the deepest part of her intuition, that Olivia was well. Whole. The God of heaven and earth had control of her care now. It occurred to Maddie, as goose bumps pebbled her skin, that He could be trusted with that.
Olivia hadn’t received a long life here on earth. The Lord had taken. But then He’d given. He’d given Olivia life in a place without death, mourning, crying, or pain.
No death. No mourning. No crying. No pain.
Maddie’s finite mind strained to grasp the truth of what heaven was like. She couldn’t grasp it, to be honest. She was going to have to accept it on faith.
Olivia was well.
She is well.Maddie filled her mind with the phrase several times in a row.She is well.No one, including her or Leo, need worry about Olivia anymore.
“I love you,” Maddie said to Olivia. “I will always remember you, and tell people about you, and miss you. I’ll never stop looking for ways to celebrate you and the impact you had on the people you cared about.”
Cold pinged against her cheekbone, and she looked up to see dainty snowflakes drifting down from the sky, silent and elegant and full of grace.
Maddie smiled at the wonder of it. Some of her friends grumbled about snow. Not her. She’d always loved it. Snow! On Christmas Eve, no less.
Minutes passed. Maddie stood, a still figure amid the dance of the snowflakes. This was no angry, sleeting storm. No, this felt much more like a blessing. A gift.
Life continued even after loss.
God had taken away the summer sun, but now He’d provided something fresh and beautiful in its own way. The snow of winter.
A new season had come.
As soon as Leo arrived at Olivia’s brother’s house that evening, he asked his sister-in-law if she’d keep an eye on Charlie for him. Then he went in search of Olivia’s mom and dad, Deb and Randy, and asked if he could speak with them privately.
Now the three of them were closeted in Olivia’s brother’s home office, the sounds of voices and Christmas music leaking through the closed door.
Deb’s face and posture communicated shaky defensiveness, as if she suspected she’d behaved badly, but wasn’t ready to admit it yet because she believed that Leo had behaved badly, too.
Randy regarded Leo with compassion.
“Did Deb tell you what happened earlier today?” Leo asked Randy. “Between Maddie and me and Deb?”
The older man nodded.
He knew that Olivia’s parents felt for him the way people were supposed to feel toward their sons-in-law. They were grateful to him for giving them a grandchild. They admired his efforts as a husband and continued to appreciate his efforts as a dad. They liked him a great deal and might even love himsome. But he could never, ever function as a substitute for their beloved daughter.
No one could.
Leo had never hoped to try. It’s just that in this moment, the gap between what Olivia had been to them and what he was to them seemed more enormous than usual. He wished, for their sakes, that he could be a better consolation prize.
He cleared his throat. He hadn’t been looking forward to this conversation, but he was determined to get it over with so they could move on. “Did you know that every Christmas decoration and ornament I own was purchased by Olivia?” He’d given some thought to what he wanted to say to them, how he wanted to start this ball rolling. “Charlie and I opened all the doors of the Advent calendar that belonged to her when she was a girl. We listened to ‘Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree’ when we decorated our tree, because that was your family’s tradition. We walked in the Main Street Christmas parade because that’s what she did with you every year growing up. We attended your church’s nativity play.”
Some of the defensiveness melted from Deb.
“Olivia’s influence will always mark my life and Charlie’s life,” Leo said. “Always. She was my wife, and she’s Charlie’s mother. We loved her.”
